When the Stars Align (Anthony Rizzo)

51| Girls Night Out

Kelsey

Once Anthony left I got this sick feeling in my stomach. It's like those nights as a kid I would hear police sirens and I couldn't sleep because I thought that they had come to take my dad away. It's like those first few nights when my mom had died and for the first time in my life I was so unsure of everything. It's a feeling I wouldn't wish upon anyone, to feel like something is so wrong that it could never be right again.

This feeling was a lot like that. Being alone sucks, being in love and having to be alone is nearly impossible. To be loved in the way that I am then not be able to have it anymore, I hate it. I felt like we broke up. Even though I'll see him again soon it doesn't stop the hurting right now. So to keep my mind off my loneliness I watch a bunch of stuff from spring training with Anthony in it. I know, this won't help me miss him any less. But seeing his face and hearing his voice was calming to me. I could listen to him talk about things he loves for the rest of my life. But for now this is all I got. Luckily for me there's a lot of people interested in Anthony and his team giving me a lot to look into.

All the sudden my phone starts going off and I see it's Chelsea trying to get a hold of me. So I put my wallowing on pause and answer the phone.

"What" I answer much to her surprise.

"Well, I called to see if you're still moping that Anthony is gone, which you so obviously are. So I wanted to see if you wanted to come out tonight with the girls" she claims.

"I don't" I assure her.

"Alright, let me try this again. You're coming out tonight. Put the dog down and close the laptop. Find you're sexiest dress you have and be ready by 7" she tells me.

"Why do you think this is okay" I ask her.

"I'll see you then. Byeee" she sing songs before hanging up. I wanted to argue but she had other plans. And as much as it kills me to say this she was kinda right, I needed to get out tonight. But I wasn't going to.

I go back to watching videos and reading articles trying to fill the void that his absence left. I know he wants me there and I want more than anything to be there with him, but we just can't right now. So I have to live with this.

At about 4 in the afternoon Anthony gives me a call. He tells me what they did today and I tell him all about how I spent my day being thankful that my boyfriend is famous so I don't have to totally miss him when he's away for work. He shows me around the place they train in and all the accommodations they have and it was actually really cool. Then again he could be talking about the grass growing and I would love it.

"So what are your plans for tonight" he wonders and I shrug.

"I don't know. Chelsea wants me to go out with her and a few of our friends but I think I'm gonna stay in" I explain.

"Why? That sounds like a lot of fun" he claims.

"Oh, because you're so experienced in the girls night out column" I tease.

"In fact I am, just not as one of the girls" he claims.

"Is there something you want to tell me" I tease as he starts to laugh.

"Nothing you need to be worried about. I just think you should go out tonight. Get your mind off me then get so drunk that I'm all you can think about so you call me and slur I love you over and over again" he jokes.

"I don't want that, I want you" I say softly.

"No, don't do that. Don't make me want to quit baseball and come find you. I'm going to see you soon, until then hang out with your friends. You deserve a drink or too and a night with the girls. I really think you should go" he claims.

"Fine. But I would still rather be with you" I insist.

"I know baby. But until then I want you to be happy" he insists.

"I'll try" I promise.

So I change into jeans and a crop top and curl my hair. I put some make up on and call it a day. At the request of Anthony I send him some pictures as to which he tried to convince me to stay home. But I got all dressed up and I wasn't going to let it go to waste.

So Chelsea picks me up and we meet our friends at a bar downtown. We get some shots and hang out to the side as we watch life pass us by. A few of us were in serious relationships and those of us who weren't didn't do one night stands. Not anymore at least. So we turn away any guy who wanted to talks to us and made sure it was just us girls. We make a few new girlfriends and they join us in dancing on the dance floor. I always thought having a girls night was needed and I'm happy I got pressured into coming here. I still missed Anthony but at least I was having some fun in the mean time.

By 3am I was in a cab on the way back to Anthony's place. I get help up to the condo and let myself in. I find Haley fast asleep in her bed and her little tail just a wiggling. Once I stop obsessing over how perfect my dog was I grab a water and head to bed. I fall face first in there and let out a long groan.

Anthony wasn't here to help me get changed or pull my hair back so I could breathe. It was just me and it sucked. So I decide to call him and tell him how much it sucked.

"Hey babe, did you make it home" he asks.

"I did" I reply pretty proud of myself that I did.

"Did you have fun tonight" he wonders.

"No. Because now I'm in bed and you're not here" I pout.

"I'm sorry. I wish I was" he insists.

"I wish you were too. I don't know where the bathroom is and no one is here to help me" I say on the verge of tears.

"Oh baby, you're so messed up" he notices.

"I just really want you here" I sniffle.

"I'll be with you, soon enough."