When the Stars Align (Anthony Rizzo)

53| Think About It

Kelsey

The best way to keep your mind busy is to work. Luckily for me there's a whole universe to explore and I don't have to worry about ever running out of things to do. It's literally impossible. So if I'm not at home with my puppy or on the phone with Anthony you're most likely to find me here in my office booking schools for visits and creating events to get people into the planetarium. Anything I have to do to keep my mind off my aching heart.

"You know, you got this promotion in the hope that even though you got this office you wouldn't spend every second in it" Chelsea teases as she sticks her head in the door.

"I haven't been in here that long" I defend.

"It's 3 and you got here at 8 this morning" she tells me and my eyes go big. I look at my desk clock and low and behold it was 3 in the afternoon.

I let out a long sigh as I run my fingers through my hair. I close my eyes for a second to catch up with the time that had quickly passed me by. I shake my head as I turn to Chelsea.

"Don't judge me for asking, but what day is it" I wonder and she laughs.

"Thursday" she tells me.

"Alright, so there's a show in 15 minutes. I'll come sit in and help out" I promise.

"Okay, but I wasn't actually here to patronize you" she proclaims.

"Are you sure? Because you did a damn good job of it" I tease.

"Yeah. I have a special delivery to you from a certain baseball player" she claims and I perk up. The smile on my face was immediate as I hop out of my seat.

"What is it" I wonder. Usually I hate getting gifts from him, but I missed him so much I would take anything at this point.

"Let's see" she says as she pulls out a box of stuff. "We have one bouquet of flowers, a box of chocolates, a picture of the stars from Arizona, one of his sweatshirts, and it looks like some stuff for your telescope" she says handing me it all. I barley make it to my desk before setting the stuff down.

"Oh wow, how did you get all of this" I question.

"I picked it up while you were sulking in your office all day today" she tells me and I start to blush.

"Oops. I guess life keeps going no matter how sad you are huh" I ask.

"It does. And I took a hour long lunch to get all this crap he sent you so you owe me" she threatens.

"You wanna do dinner tomorrow" I ask.

"Deal" she smiles.

She leaves me for a few minutes to take in all the sweet stuff Anthony had gotten for me. I smell his sweatshirt and it smelled just like him, how I missed that. Just knowing he was around made me happy, and knowing that he's not around right now makes me sad. But this does help a little.

I text Anthony a long thank you for thinking of me and making sure I get my flowers like always. Then, like promised, I head out to the planetarium to do my job. I sit down in the back row of the planetarium and let one of the new kids tell their stories that were painted in the sky like stars. I smile as I listen for once instead of being the one who is talking. It was nice to get out for my office and open my eyes to this world for a while. Remember why I loved working here in the first place. And seeing everyone's faces, well that was the best feeling in the world.

After the show I stay for the q and a. I answer some questions for the harder ones the new guy couldn't answer and of course hang out with the kiddos. I sit there and talk and talk not even caring how long it was. When a kid is curious it's our job to help them figure it out. Can't let them walk out of here not knowing more than they came in. And kids always had questions when it comes to the stars.

"You're so good with kids" Chelsea claims as I send the last kid on their way.

"I'm the oldest sibling of four and both of my parents are gone now. Do I have a choice" I ask.

"Of course you do. People are awful to children all the time. This job doesn't require you to be good with kids and you're the best. Some parents don't give a shit about their kids, my parents never did. But you're going to be a great mom. Your kids are going to be so smart and have big hearts. They're going to be perfect" she claims.

"I haven't even thought about having kids" I admit.

"Well think about it" she says as she walks away.

I go back to my office and I do think about it. I think about it hard until I realize something. I haven't had a period yet this month and I should have. At first I was confused, I'm usually very regular but I haven't had as much as spotting in a while. After the fire I had to stop with my birth control since I couldn't regularly go to the doctor but I started back up with it last month. But if I was pregnant before that then it doesn't really matter.

So I pack up all my gifts from Anthony and load them up into the car. I drive a little outside of Chicago and get some pregnancy tests at a road side drug store. I couldn't buy them in town, someone would surely see me and I don't want the word to get out. So I purchase the tests discreetly before going back home. I let Halley out and she does her business on the pad on the porch that Anthony bought her. While she was out there I take the pregnancy tests then wait for the longest 10 minutes of my life to pass me by.

Finally my timer goes off and I go to check the three tests sitting by the door of the bathroom. I look at the first one and I couldn't really tell if there was two lines or one. But the second and third one was as bright as day. There was two bright pink lines on the little stick and I could feel my heart beating hard. My eyes nearly bust out of my head as I come face to face with the tests. I felt like I was going to throw up when I see them staring back at me.

Then after the initial shock goes away and I had some time to think, really think about what is happening right now, I realized that this isn't a bad thing. Unexpected, yes, but not bad. Not even close.

So I set up a appointment with a doctor and tell them what's going on. They promise to check me out and make sure I'm really pregnant and if I am that all is well. This past few weeks have been so crazy I could have easily passed anything off as common pregnancy ailments. But looking back, the fatigue and the headaches and the nausea, it makes sense.

And just when I thought I could get to Mesa and my life would settle down...