When the Stars Align (Anthony Rizzo)

55| Goodbye For Now

Kelsey

After what felt like forever I finally decided that I have had enough and it was time that I got to go see Anthony. So I decide to drive there instead of flying in case I needed to go somewhere once I got there or had to come back early for whatever reason. This way I would have a lot more room to explore and come and go as I please. It also lets me bring whatever the hell I want, like my special gift for Anthony.

I pick up the baby onesie with his number on it and "Baby Rizzo" written across the back. I put that along with other Cubs themed baby things into a all black bag. I wrote Anthony's name on it so none of his friends get to it before him by accident and ruin the surprise. I place that bag in the back of the car and let out a long sigh.

After taking the pregnancy tests and seeing that they were for the most part positive I went to the doctors for some real answers. And the answer was simple, I was indeed pregnant. I was going onto my second month and by the time I see Anthony I'll be 8 weeks. I conceived late January before he left and even though I've drank some it didn't hurt the baby. It had a strong heart beat and looked to be developing perfectly which made me happy. Even though I could have easily gone another month or so without knowing I was pregnant I'm happy I figured it out when I did. I wasn't showing or anything yet and I didn't have any symptoms that were extreme enough to make me question if I was pregnant or not. For all I knew my periods stopped because I was back on birth control and it was messing with my cycle. But after looking at the sonogram you can see the little baby and can hear it's heart beat. The little one was safe and healthy and I was going to be sober for the next seven plus months. But it was well worth it.

And being the only one who knows that I'm pregnant gave me a lot of time to think. And while I'm scared and nervous I'm also excited and happy and I couldn't wait until the baby was here. Was I ready for a baby? No. Was I asking for a baby? That's a no too. But I'm not upset that I am pregnant. I've always wanted to be a mother and I'm not getting any younger. I just turned 25 and I don't want to wait too long before starting a family. I'm ready for a kid now and I just hope Anthony is too.

So I get the gift into the car along with all my belongings I needed. It was a long drive over to Arizona but with Halley driving shot gun and the playlist Anthony played when we drove out to Florida I'm sure I'll be fine. Plus I was starting to get cravings which is only good because I finally knew what I wanted to eat. Even if it's a weird cravings.

I double check I have everything before filling up the car. I make sure to bring out all the stuff Anthony asked for on top of what I needed and what the dog needed. And once I was ready I go over to my families apartment before taking off for a while. I wasn't going to tell them I was pregnant yet. I couldn't tell them before Anthony and I didn't look pregnant so I wasn't going to say anything. Once I talk things over with Anthony we can figure out when and how to tell our families. Until then I was going to enjoy being the only one knowing.

"Nice of you to stop by on your way out" Trevor teases as he welcomes me in.

"I couldn't leave before saying hi to my favorite people, and you" I smirk and he rolls his eyes. He loves me. He knows he does.

So I bring my dog in which Isaiah was more excited about than seeing me. But I can't say I blame him. I hang out with my sister because by the time I come back I'll be helping her go away to college and I wanted as much time with her as I can.

"I don't know if I'm ready to move away from you guys" she admits.

"I know how you feel. I almost didn't move in with Anthony for a while because I wanted to stay home. I wanted to help dad and you and Isaiah and to a certain extent Trevor. But then I realized something.

Say I hold this bottle of water out in front of me for a few moments, it's nothing right? Easy peasy. But say I hold it for 10 minutes, then my arm is going to start to hurt. If I held it for hours my arm would surely not be able to do what I need it to anymore. The same goes with life, if we hold onto something longer than we should then it's gonna hurt. So let go now, when you can, and pick something else up while you still can too" I say.

"And what do I do when I don't have my insightful big sister next to me teaching me life lessons from the stars and everywhere else under them" she asks and I smile.

"I'll be here for you, always. You can come home as many times as you want and I'll always be a phone call away" I promise.

"I'm gonna miss you. Now and when I leave" she insists.

We've never had to be away from each other this long. The longest we've spent away from each other was when I spent a week in Florida with Anthony. But now it's a little over than a month and a few days until I'll see her again. And it sucks, especially considering I'm about to begin in this journey of being a mother and I would love to have her by my side. Tati was my best friend and I didn't want to do this without her. But there's never a good time to let go, and since she has to let go that means I do too.

"I'm gonna miss you like I miss dad" I promise and she smiles.

"If I need you, you'll come back right" she asks and I smile.

"Of course. But try not to miss me too much" I wink and she giggles.

"I'll try."

I say my goodbyes to my brothers and my sister before hopping in the car. I could have flew to Arizona but I loved the sky too much not to take a road trip and day dream. I had a lot to think about and I was ready to ride off into my future.