Fate saved us

Chapter 28

5th November 1987
             Beyoncé's PoV

"Happy birthday Ka'liyah!!" We all shout happily as she blows her candles out. The Jacksons don't celebrate birthdays but they sometimes do for the children.
Ka'liyah giggles shyly and runs up to her dad, Jackie. He wraps his arms around her and hugs her tight..swaying her from left to right.
Jermaine wraps his arms around my waist "it makes you wonder doesn't it?.. what life would be like for you if Sarabi was still here"
I nod softly smiling over at Ka'liyah "Yeah, I'd of probably still of been with Michael. Or just a single mom. I wouldn't of wanted to bring another man in on me and Sarabi, there's only one man in her life she calls dad, and that's her dad. Not anyone else" I shake my head.
"So there wouldn't be a me and you if Sarabi was here right now?" Jermaine ponders. I sigh and look at him... my eyes widen when I see Michael and Tatiana behind Jermaine in the distance talking to Katherine.
"Michael's here" I whisper, shocked by his late arrival.
Jermaine turns around and rolls his eyes once he spots his younger brother and his wife.
"Shall we go say hi?" Jermaine looks back at me
I shake my head and sit down "no, I have no loyalties to Michael now, she wants to talk? He can come to us" I stubbornly reply making Jermaine laugh and shake his head. He sits next to me with our backs facing Michael and Tatiana. We hold hands and talk about Ka'liyah.
"Beyoncé??" Katherine shouts from the kitchen. I turn around and she's looking at me through the window "yes mama Kat?" I yell, she beckons me with her hand "come along and help honey!" She shouts back making Jermaine giggle "mother adores you"
I smirk at him and stand up "I adore her!"

I walk into the kitchen and help mama kat prepare some food and get it set out on the table.
"I'm just gonna pop to the toilet mama kat" I smile at her as I dry my hands off.. she nods and I walk through the house heading upstairs to the largest bathroom. Where mama kat has my favourite soap.
I open the bathroom door and see Michael and Tatiana all over each other.. damn "oh sorry" I say loudly and shut the door. I walk to the other bathroom that is upstairs and make sure to knock. When no one answers I freely walk in closing the door behind me and locking it.
I unbotton my tight leather trousers and pull them down along with my knickers so I can sit on the toilet.

I can't believe I just walked in on Michael and Tatiana all over each other. Like yeah, I know they're a married couple, but jeezzzz save it for when you're at home. Holy damn.
There's a knocks at the door so I call out "yeah?"
"Mother has put all the food out, so hurry before my fat ass brothers take it all" Janet yells through the door making me giggle loudly "nearly done Janet" I shake my head with laughter.
"See you down there" she replies with a small chuckle. I hear footsteps walking away and heading downstairs. After I wipe my private area I stand and pull my clothing up. I then hear a door open and whispering "Tatiana we can't, we should respect my mothers home and the people in it"
Tatiana laughs "what? Respect that slut that's here too?"
Michael replies "what slut? Who are you talking about Tati?"
Tatiana replies a little louder "your fucking ex!"
"Beyoncé?" Michael whispers rashly
"Yes!" Tatiana almost yells so Michael snaps at her "keep your voice down Tati, you never know who's around. Don't cause a scene today, it's my nieces birthday. I want her to have a good birthday" he begs of her
"If she starts I'm round housing that ugly fat black cunt!" Tatiana warns evilly.
There's never been a time when I've hated my race. But right now I do, seeing someone as beautiful as Tatiana call me something like that just makes my confidence and heart break.
I look down and finish washing my hands, a tear slips from my eye as it lands in the sink. Michael replies but I can't hear what he said. I then hear them talking but it gets quieter so they must be heading down the stairs.
I look up into the mirror as I dry my hands off "ugly fat black cunt" I whisper to myself.

That's what I am.

Ugly

Fat

Black.

Im so disgusting, I am trying to lose weight. I really am, while I've been touring I should of lost weight.. but I just haven't.

I leave the bathroom and head downstairs trying to brace myself.
I walk into the kitchen where everyone is happily laughing and talking. I feel Tatiana's and Michael's eyes on me. I go to the sink and run the cold water and grabbing a glass. I fill the glass up and take gulps of the water into my system. I sigh and wipe my mouth. I turn to see Kathrine smiling at me, she then points to the food "fill your plate my gorgeous girl" she kindly speaks
"Oh, no. I'm not hungry mama kat" I assure her which makes her frown "but you said-"
Jermaine cuts her off "you said how hungry you was earlier?"
I shrug "I'm fine now, I'm not hungry" I plaster a fake smile and start walking to the back door.
"I'm surprised that fat bitch isn't hungry, her body is probably eating away at all the fat on her" Tatiana mumbles as I walk past them.
Michael scolds her quietly, "Tati!!!" He warns her. I gulp away my tears and the lump in my throat and carry on walking out of the house into the backgarden. I go and sit near a load of trees and bushes and sigh to myself. Why must my life be like this? I just want my daughter.

"Whatcha thinking about?" I heard from behind me. I turn to see Marlon, I roll my eyes and turn back around.
Marlon tuts at me "well, that was rude" he chuckles slightly.
"What's rolling in the world of Beyoncé?" He questions sitting next to me on the bench
"Nothing" I mumble, keeping my eyes on the birds sat in the tree tweeting at each other.
He starts talking about something to do with his music but I just totally zone out.

"Are you even listening?"
I snap my eyes to randy "hmm?"
He just laughs shaking his head "nevermind" he gets up and turns back to me "follow me"
I sigh and stand up following randy back into the house.
I then feel someone grab my arm "Oh Beyoncé! It's such a pleasure to meet you! I'm Tatiana, Michael's wife I've heard so many things about you" she fakes being happy
"Nice to meet you Tatiana" I nod and carry on walking past her into the living room. I end up bumping into someone "sorry" I say quickly, I look up and it's Michael. Michael smiles softly "Beyoncé?"
"Michael" I reply with a nod and walk past him. He grabs my arm and stops me "can we talk? Please!" He begs of me
"Michael I'm a little busy" I sigh, trying to be as nice as possible.
He frowns at me "no you're not, please Beyoncé. I've done you dirty so I need to apologise"
I remove my arm from his tender grip "Michael.." I sigh feeling totally defeated "you've married someone, you're happy. I'm happy with Jermaine and hopefully starting a future with him. We don't need to ever see each other again, except for family get togethers. The past is the past for a reason , right? And were each other's past. We don't need to talk or communicate." I inform him softly, I then look into his eyes which are watering "good look on your marriage with Tatiana, Michael. She seems lovely" I add, I turn away from him and walk up stairs to the bathroom again.
I take out prescription pills from under the sink which I hid here a few weeks back. I take a small handful out and throw them into my mouth, swallowing them with some water I got from the tap.

I sit on the edge of the bath and wait for the pills to kick in.

A few minutes later I start feeling really ill. And sleepy, like my eyelids have large bulky stones on them.
The last thing I remember is falling off of the edge of the bath and smacking my head on the hard bathroom floor.

To be continued....