Fate saved us

Chapter 58

12th May 1993
Beyoncé's PoV

"Pretty huuurrttttssss, shine your light on whatever-" I broke down crying while recording "it's the soul that needs the surgery" I forgot the lyrics and jumped to a few lyrics in front
"It's okay" Quincy smiles at me softly, comforting me.

"HEEEEYYYYY, PRETTY HUUURRRRTSSS. When you're alone by yourself and in your bed... are you happy with yourself" I randomly sung a few lyrics while tears stream down my face. I continue writing what I've got.

"Can I have some space please?" I look up at Quincy, asking him softly. He nodded and kind of bowed "that's fine, shout of me if you need me" he said gently. He walked out and left me alone.

I start crying heavily. Uncontrollably. I can't stop. I start weeping and throw everything around the studio breaking some glasses.
I fall onto the floor near my bag and listen to my heartbreaking. I reach into my bag and pull out a pack of pills and a bottle of water.
I crack open the pill bottle and stare at them with glossy eyes.

My life isn't worth living anymore.

'I swore I'd never fall agaiiinnnnnm, but this don't even feel like falling' my voice echos on the radio.

I look at the pictures of Blue and Kiara up in the studio and cry even more.

"I'm so sorry babies," I whisper as my voice cracks

'OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHOHOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHOOOOOO
everywhere I'm looking now (everywhere I'm looking now)
I'm surrounded by your embrace
(I'm surrounded by your emBRAAACE)
Baby I can see your halo, (you know your my saving GRAAAACE)
You're everything I need and more
(Everything I need and mooooreee)
It's written all over your face
(Written all over your faaaace)
Baby, I can feel your halo, (I pray you won't fade away)
I can see your halo
(I pray you won't fade away)
I can see your halo, halo
(I pray it won't fade away)
I can see your halo
(I pray it won't fade awayyyyy)
I can see your halo, halo
(Halo don't fade awayyyyy)
I can see your halo, halo
(Halo don't fade awaaay)
I can see your halo, halo
(Halo no don't fade away)
I can see your halo, halo
(Halo don't fade AWAYYYY)
I can feel your halo, halo,
(Halo,oooooohhhh)'

I take a few pills while listening to my own song. My eyes weep as I write my family a note.

'To mum, dad and my dearest sister;

Im sorry it's had to come to this, I haven't been coping, I haven't been coping for many years now. My daughters are my life, they're the only reason why I've stayed on earth for so long. If it wasn't for them, I'd of already done this by now. They kept me fighting- fighting for life.

Don't hate me, I didn't do this to hurt any of you. I did this to free myself. Free myself from all the hurt I've continuously felt since I was 15.
I'm In my thirties, I should be writing love letters, not suicide notes.

I'm in my thirties, I should be out being happy, instead. I'm hurting my soul and heart, and taking pills regularly.
I've never done it around my children, I'd never let them see such a painful sight... I did it when they was with you, or with Michael.

I want you all to help Michael out with my children, they need him more than ever after today...
I love him.
And I love every single one of you.

I love my children, but I just couldn't love me anymore.'

'To Michael;