Yowzah Oneshot Collection (1)

21(M)

they danced by the light of the moon

“You’re late.” River’s tone was low and he frowned at the phone in his hand, wondering why he’d answered it again. Possibly because the TARDIS had let it ring on and on, without pause, never letting it go to his answer phone. Evil old girl – she was still upset with him for rewiring the cooling systems, and hadn’t been flying right since.

“How can I be late? Might not even be this me that’s late could be a future me, River, so technically-”

“Technically it could be any you, therefore every you is to be held responsible. You just happen to be the you I got a hold of first, sweetie. And you’re late.” She spoke calmly, her voice smug and he could just picture her with her all-knowing grin, arms crossed and her head tilted, all that magnificent hair- he growled in frustration and she laughed softly, as if enjoying the very sound of it. Which she probably was, the bad girl.

“Well what am I late for?” He exclaimed, stretching the phone cord around the time rotor until he was below the screen.

“Your nightly visit, of course.” She paused, and he could hear the whoosh of air escaping her lungs. “Unless you’re – when are you?”

“Far enough along, dear.”  He grinned as he spoke in a teasing tone and heard her sigh of relief.

“Excellent.” She all but purred the word in his ear and he felt a funny sort of ache as he listened. “Are you alone?”

“What? Of course I’m alone-”

“So no one is on board at all then?” She questioned him quickly and he frowned.

“No. What has that got to do with anything?” He heard her laughter in response and the sound seemed to crawl under his skin, slipping and sliding around inside of him until he exhaled harshly, irritation rising.

“Oh early days for you then. Dress code sweetie. That’s all. Now hurry up.” She rattled off coordinates before hanging up with even a goodbye and he blinked at the phone in shock. She hung up on him. She couldn’t just hang up on him! There were – were rules about this sort of thing and those rules seemed to multiply once one was in a relationship.

Which - he hated to define their... themness as a relationship, but still. Honestly. A goodbye. An endearment. Something. He threw the phone down with a huff, before crawling under the console and pulling out the cooling system wiring again.

Well. She could just wait.

He got slightly electrocuted by the TARDIS four times, and somehow managed to completely bollocks up the entire cooling system in the meantime before one final shower of sparks and surge of electricity arcing along his bones had him scrambling out from under the console. “Well fine then if you want to take sides about it, Sexy!” He huffed, yanking his tweed off and tossing it on the chair before he rolled his neck and huffily typed in the coordinates River had given him, adding on two hours. Which the TARDIS naturally changed as soon as they were in flight. “You know, I was here first, I should be the one getting preferential treatment.” He grumbled to the time rotor, but his ship simply whirred in a high pitch tone before landing with her usual noise.

The panel he’d just been working on burst into a shower of smoke and sparks and he cursed under his breath in Gallifreyan, pulling out his sonic and waving it at wires, causing them to emit even more smoke. “Oh come on!” He shouted up at the time rotor, hearing the doors open and close, but he knew it was River, so he didn’t bother to look up. Instead he jury-rigged some wiring, piggybacking the cooling system with the internal sensors and the TARDIS shook with irritation, but finally stopped raining a shower of sparks everywhere.