Yowzah Oneshot Collection (1)

82(G)

River Song etched another tally to her mental count of incarcerated days. This day brought her total to 1482. The number truly didn't matter to her, especially with her frequent escapes and escapades, but the few times she was allowed to congregate with her fellow Stormcage prisoners, sharing your day count was a kind of common greeting. And she might as well try and keep up some appearance of being a routine prisoner.

As she contemplated how to spend her day, she heard a familiar wheezing that solidified her schedule for her. The TARDIS pulsed its way into the corridor outside her cell. Seconds later, a tuxedo clad Doctor emerged twirling his sonic cane.

"Dinner date, River. We've been invited to dine with Her Royal Majesty of Sanzard IV."

"Ooh, sounds like fun," she responded. "But are you sure they invited the both of us? Me, the known criminal, and you who had some gross custom infraction that resulted in you being banned from their star system?"

He used his cane-free hand to wave off her concerns. "Bah, that was four faces ago-plenty of time to forgive such a little thing. And as for you, I'll make sure the psychic paper references a plus one." He waved his cane over the lock on her cell door. "They have the best chocolate in the universe and The Screaming Comets-royal house band-are playing." He grabbed her by the wrist, yanked her out of her cell, and twirled her into the TARDIS. "And I feel like dancing."

River couldn't help but laugh; his joy was infectious, as usual. She quickly bounded her way up to the console and lovingly ran her hand along the metal. "Hello to you, too."

The TARDIS thrummed a greeting back as the Doctor threw levers and twisted knobs. "Forgot to ask," he started without taking his eyes off the controls, "where are we according to you?"

"Funny you should ask; it was another royal dinner." She paused for a moment, not wanting to give too much away. "This one won't involve a pet shop, will it?"

He smiled. "No."

"What about you?"

"Can't say last time I saw you then."

"Spoilers?" she asked with a curious grin.

"Indeed," he answered with a final flourish.

Her eyes turned to the monitor as the Doctor suggested she go change. "The green dress is in the wardrobe in its usual spot."

"Not this time," she responded.

"Excuse me?"

"I wore that last time. A girl needs to switch it up every now and then, and besides," she paused to point to the monitor providing a readout of Sanzard IV, "it's a giant ice ball."

"So?"

"So your favorite dress is sleeveless and low-cut."

"Why d'you think it's my favorite?" He retorted with a waggle of non-existent eyebrows.

River rolled her eyes in return. "Sweetie, I'll freeze, and then I'll have to wear your coat over it, and that will just ruin the look."

"Well, if you have to wear something else, I guess there are other options in the wardrobe."

She sighed, "I don't know... I've looked through them all before. I' was thinking about something new."

His face fell. "Shopping? You want to go shopping. River, there's going to be phenomenal chocolate. And dancing."

"Yes, dear, if only you had a machine that could still get you to the same point in time whether or not you went shopping first. Oh, wait..."

"But I've already got the coordinates laid in."