Yowzah Oneshot Collection (1)

71(G)

Holiday in handcuffs

“This is all your fault.” He flipped a switch and moved to the other side of the console only to be jerked back by the wrist. River stood there, glaring at him.

“My fault? You’re the one who chose the planet-”

“Which was a perfectly Christmassy planet, River. Frost planet for goodness sakes! Whole entire surface covered in naturally occurring hoar frost and you-” River began to laugh and he sighed heavily.

“All I did was walk across-”

“Sacred gardens River – if you’d read the sign you’d have-”

“Sacred gardens you parked us in!” She rolled her eyes. “How am I supposed to not walk in the sacred gardens if you park us dead center? And you walked in them too! Right into me. And besides they arrested us both.”

“But you first,” he started, wagging a finger in her face, quite put out by the whole ordeal. It was their first Christmas alone. Well, not alone – they’d be stopping by her parents – especially now – but last year he’d met her at her parents and this year he’d wanted to take her somewhere on their own. Somewhere amazing. And it would have been.

“I’m fairly certain they arrested us for the parking more than the walking, sweetie.” She cocked a hip and he held his finger up, opening his mouth to reply but found himself distracted by the vision of her in velvet and fur – he’d almost giggled like a small boy when she’d emerged from the wardrobe earlier.

“I am a perfect parker-” She snorted indelicately at that and he gasped. “River! I am.”

“Oh please. And I’m the one who broke us out of the prison-”

“Well, yes, but only because you’re more experienced-”

“And whose fault is that?” His face fell and he flushed. “Oh stop it – I just meant that I’m breaking out to meet you.”

“You wouldn’t have to break out at all if-”

“You’re not allowed to get maudlin on Christmas dear.” She cut him off with an arched brow and a grin. “Especially not this Christmas.” She purred, moving in closer and he swallowed nervously, his hand at her hip.

“Why not this Christmas?” He squeaked the question out nervously, his gaze dropping as she pressed against him. “I mean the frost planet was supposed to be amazing. An amazing alone Christmas for you and I, River, and I ruined it.”

“Oh I don’t know about ruined.” She grinned, wrapping one arm around his neck, and lifting the other hand with a jangle. “You. Me.Handcuffs. Could be our best Christmas yet.”  His wrist had lifted with hers and he looked from where their hands were cuffed together back up to her face, flushing at the heat in her gaze.

“River, we should take this seriously, I can’t unlock them. They’re sonic-proof!” He whispered in a high-pitched tone and she laughed, her breasts brushing against his chest enticingly.

“I know.” She laughed, raising her brows suggestively. “And as soon as I pick the lock we are so keeping these ones, sweetie. The mind races with possibilities.” She teased, leaning in close to him and pressing a soft kiss to the underside of his jaw. His hand on her hip tightened, pulling her in closer.

“Well, yes, but- it’s Christmas and we’re stuck like this until you can pick this lock and we have to go to your parents to get your tools – why they’re there is beyond me, but somehow I don’t think that Rory the Roman will thank me for showing up on Christmas Eve, handcuffed to his daughter.” He protested, even as his voice deepened with a groan when she pressed small kisses down his neck, slowly dragging her lips, then tongue and then teeth against the skin there. He felt all shivery, his hips surging forward into hers as he moaned, his face buried into her hair. “River.” He dragged her name out and she laughed, looking up at him.

“You’re absolutely right, Doctor.”

“I am?” He stuttered, staring down at her in confusion.

“He may just stab you. He is awfully good at the swording.” She pointed out in a calm tone and the Doctor swallowed heavily.

“He is rather good, isn’t he? Killed a cyberman once. Just... sworded him. Right through the chest.” His voice got high on the last word and River pouted up at him.

“And if these are our last moments together, my love-”

“Well not your last moments, you get younger me and I get to die. By swording, River.” She smacked his shoulder with her free hand and glared up at him. “Oh sorry – ruining the moment, go ahead.”

“Thank you.” She spoke primly. “And if these are our last moments together, my love, and seeing as we’re handcuffed already... I saw we go out with a bang.” She grinned, her cuffed hand curling into his lapel, which meant that his cuffed hand brushed against her breast and he squeaked in alarm.

She kissed him then, pulling his head down to hers and kissing him until he was breathless, her lips soft against his, her mouth pliant and opening and her tongue - oh, her tongue. He sighed into her mouth, his fingers brushing against the soft flesh beneath them as she moaned into his mouth and arched her back, pressing into him in all sorts of delicious ways. She kissed and kissed him until even he felt light-headed for lack of air; he wasn’t sure how long had passed, five minutes or fifty and he never lost sense of time. Never but for when he was around this maddening woman with her maddening hands and her maddening mouth and her magnificent  use of all of her maddening parts. He tore his mouth from hers, dragging in a lungful of air as she smirked up at him.

Once he’d caught his breath, he reached for her again, his hand sliding around her hip and over her bottom, squeezing gently as he pulled her closer. “Well, may as well die happy, eh?”

“Happy Christmas, my love.” She smiled up at him and he looked down at her flushed face with a grin.

“Happy indeed.”