Yowzah Oneshot Collection (1)

22(G)

the story of us it always starts the same,

“What’s this?”

“I told you not to touch anything,” she explained patiently and he crossed his arms over his chest and sighed gustily.

“I didn’t touch it – I asked what it was. There’s a bunch. They look like toys.” He whispered in her ear and she rolled her eyes, keeping crouched behind the box with her blaster at the ready.

“They are toys. He collects them, apparently. And kind of busy right now trying to avoid the security officers who all seem to want us dead, so, don’t touch anything.” She ground the words out, using her other hand to pull out her scanner. It wasn’t getting any type of signal, so she turned back to the Doctor, pausing at the sight of him poking through various crates. “Doctor!”

“What?! Oh. I wasn’t touching – just looking.” He pointed out in an offended tone. “Could be something we could use here. Look!” He pulled out a brightly coloured cube and frowned at it. “Not this one, these are rubbish. But look there’s remote controlled planes! We could find a use for remote control planes!”

She sighed before standing, holstering her gun and making her way over to where he was half-hidden in the shadows. “Of all the storage rooms, I lock us in the one with the toys.” She muttered, looking over at the crate barricaded door. She pulled open his jacket and reached her hand in to remove the sonic from his pocket.

“Oi! Thief. Could have asked you know.” He spoke over his shoulder as he dug further into the crate. “Oh, what’s this?!” He popped back out with a grin, holding a Chinese finger trap in his hands. “What is it?” He shook it and she rolled her eyes, checking the readings on the sonic. There were clusters of officers all around the halls surrounding their little hiding hole.

“It’s a Chinese finger... puzzle.” She hedged, looking over at him and grinning.

“Oh I love puzzles! Excessively. Especially if they’re difficult to figure out. Not that much can really stump me, you know one time I-”

“You know the Rubik’s cube was a puzzle? That you didn’t figure out; you called it rubbish and threw it on the floor.” She pointed out evenly and he sighed.

“Well all his toys were on the floor and you weren’t even there, so how do you even know this? Honestly.” He complained and she laughed at him brightly.

“I was referring to the one you just called rubbish and threw on the floor. Nice to see it’s not the first time.” She pointed down at the cube and he frowned.

“Oh. That one. Yes, well – it is rubbish and I knew this from previous experience, clearly. No one can figure those out. So how does this puzzle work?” He moved over closer to her and she stared up at him incredulously.

“Are you serious? We’re surrounded-”

“Not really going anywhere then.” He pointed out helpfully.

“- my parents are still out there- ”

“Oh they’ll be fine. Quite the pair, those two. They’ll sail through it – you realize you got all of that from them, yeah? In fact I’d wager that they’re actually going to call any moment and come save us, in fact – so we may as well have fun while we can!” He grinned and held up the small toy as he waited for her response.

“And this is how you’d like to spend your free, fun, time? Playing with children’s toys?” River asked in a disbelieving tone and he grinned at her in confusion.

“Well what else would we do?” He glanced around in confusion and River had to bite her lip to keep from telling him exactly what hecould do in a dark room with her, locked in and near death. Well near-death ish. Near death enough at any rate. Times like these she longed for her Doctor – not that he wasn’t her Doctor, but he was still at that adorably clueless stage, bless his hearts. Which meant he totally deserved what she was about to do.