Yowzah Oneshot Collection (1)

169(G)

             The Curse of Curves

                 HellNHighHeels

She’s a menace. No, she’s a minx. She’s a menacing minxy distraction and he can’t be expected to handle her when she’s this young. He can hardly even look at her.

It’s unfair and it’s reckless and she can’t keep doing this. She can’t go on pretending that her actions don’t have consequences, that what she’s doing isn’t affecting him. And above all else, for the sake of his sanity and the fate of the universe and everything in it, she simply cannot keep dressing this way.

“River,” the way he says her name sounds more like begging than scolding. “You can’t wear a nighty on a date.” He does his best to look everywhere but her, but in her tiny dorm there isn’t much to hold his attention. Her bed takes up the majority of the room, but he really shouldn’t be looking at that. Not with River so young and definitely not when she’s in an ensemble that takes the phrase ‘little black dress’ to a whole new level.

"It's not a nighty; and yes, I can." River says dismissively, debating on which type of shoe she wants to wear. Her options range from 'too high to be sensible' and 'could easily kill a man'. If he’s honest, either one could quite easily put the nail in his coffin because in addition to all those glorious curves on display, barely hidden beneath a thin layer of silk, her lips are the color of sin and her hair looks as if it’s been hit by some kind of sex hurricane.

He’s too young to handle this.

He doesn't know where to look, but he can't bring himself to leave. So he's left to watch helplessly as River readies herself for a date he won't be going on. Sure, it’s his own fault for showing up on the wrong night, but still, he can’t imagine his future self handling this any better than he is right now.

He's seriously considering implementing a TARDIS dress code in which River is only allowed to wear things that are oversized and shapeless. It would certainly save him and his future self the struggle of focusing on something other than a young, scantily clad River Song.

"Don't you have anything less..." He pauses, rethinking his choice of words. "I mean more. Definitely more. I'm sure wherever I'm taking you won't require clothing that tight."

"What makes you think my date tonight is with you?" River says with a smirk, and the Doctor pales a little, suddenly finding the courage to look at her. He honestly hadn’t considered that she’d be dressed like this for someone other than him. At his silence, River looks back at him, her smirk slipping. "You knew we weren't exclusive, didn't you?” He wants to answer, really, he does, but words catch in his throat and it makes River’s smirk vanish completely. “Oh god, you didn't."

"No, no, of course I knew.” He corrects a bit too quickly, fighting the urge to fidget as he runs a hand through his hair. “We never... I just assumed... You know, with you wanting to marry me and all."

River rolls her eyes, going back to her shoes. "You're not still on about that are you? I was just a girl then."

The way she says it leaves no room for argument. She's definitely a woman now, one that looks like trouble. As she slips on a pair of heels, surveying herself in the mirror, he can’t help the way his eyes roam over her. How can they not when the curve of her hips spell seduction and the gleam in her eyes says mischief and the smile on her lips is a promise of a night you'll never forget.

The Doctor shakes himself out of it, looking away. He has to remind himself to feel guilty about those thoughts when she's this young. What with spoilers and Rory having a sword and- that's it, “Rory!” He shouts, and River furrows her brow.