Yowzah Oneshot Collection (1)

44(G)

they that walk in the shadows

River, no. What are you doing?
Hello, sweetie.

She is always with him from that moment on.

He wonders if she knows. Knows or even understands what she did. What they did in that moment. The glow of regeneration energy – his darker rust energy intertwining with hers, bright gold. Her hair had brushed his face, her breath against the skin of his cheek, the taste of her in his mouth.

He’d opened his eyes at the end. He’d wanted to see it – watch it swirl and arc around them, interlinking like fine filigree above their heads. He’d never seen anything so beautiful in his entire long life. He wasn’t supposed to see it – it had long been forbidden to watch such an intimate ceremony, he’d been taught by tradition to never ever look. But it was a Gallifreyan tradition and he selfishly told himself that those traditions had burned with his planet, and he wasn’t beholden to them anymore. So he’d opened his eyes at the very end. Watched the linked energy burning above them, felt her hands on his face, had buried his own hands in her hair as energy danced around them, ribbons and twirls, knotting together until rust bled into gold and it ran a deep orange.

He wonders if she feels it too. It is a constant ache, buried in some corner of his mind. A River-shaped space that longs to be filled, a physical sensation of something missing from within him. He can feel her energy trickling through him if he stands still enough and just holds his breath for a moment. He can feel her there, in his mind. Feel the bright amber brilliance that is intrinsically her. But then he has to breathe again and she slips away, like liquid gold running in metal rivulets across his mind.

He wonders if she feels this ache too. If she’s always felt it. Every time they’d ever met – his hearts twist at the thought.

His ship hums in sympathy and he glances around the low lights of the console room. The Ponds are asleep - and he looks up at the time rotor with a crooked smile. “Maybe just a short visit. Stealth is key, right Sexy? You’ll keep the kids safe here for me, yeah?” He whispers the words into the dark stillness around him, but he knows she is here, and she hears him.  The time rotor rises and falls slowly and switches spin and flip themselves.

He doesn’t bother pulling his jacket on, instead shoving his sonic in his pocket before he flies down the stairs, unlocking and opening the TARDIS doors.  The lights of Stormcage are flickering unsteadily as he steps out. He pulls his sonic out, waving it at the security panel in the wall and disabling the cameras, locking their section down and unlocking her cell.

When he approaches her cell he sees that she is asleep, curled in to the wall, her arms tucked under her pillow and her hair a wild tangle around her face.  He steps silently into the cell, and already he can sense her – feel her bright light dancing along the edges of his mind. He feels like he can breathe properly again, and he kneels by her bed, watching as she sleeps. He sighs softly, reaching a hand out to stroke her hair softly. She stirs, reaching up and brushing her hand against his.

“Sweetie?” Her voice is heavy with sleep and she isn’t quite awake, he can tell. But her grip is strong and she tugs on his arm until he rises and sits on the bed next to her. “Lay down.” She mumbles and he knows he shouldn’t, but he can’t bring himself to care. He needs her. Needs her weight in his arms and needs her hearts beating next to his. So he barely hesitates before he toes his boots off and lifts the blankets, stretching out behind her and laying the blankets back over them.

River lets his hand go, rolling over into him and tucking her head between his neck and shoulder. She presses one tiny, so soft he almost didn’t notice it kiss against the side of his neck above his collar. He wraps his arm around her, pulling her into his embrace until her breasts are pressing into his ribs, and he can count the space between her heart beats and his.   Their heartbeats are a gentle pattern and he slows his breathing to match hers. His heartbeats slow and eventually every second beat of his left heart matches the flutter of her right. He starts counting their combined heartbeats, filing everything about this moment away for himself, something to fill the dark spaces in between times spent with her.