Yowzah Oneshot Collection (1)

159(G)

   So much love and hope endure

        Daughter_of_the_TARDIS

The Doctor was dying. Really and truly regenerating this time, none of that fake regeneration bollocks that he pulled on Bill during that time with the monks.

He had put off his regeneration for as long as he possibly could, but he couldn't hold it back any longer. So he let go, finally giving in.

The fire of regeneration raced through his body as every cell died and was remade. He screamed as he changed, his voice changing mid-scream. He continued to stagger towards the TARDIS, determined to make it back home before he finished changing. The snow made it harder, causing him to stumble and fall time and time again.

He barely made it through the doors when the fires died down, and the Doctor looked down to examine the new body.

“Well then.” she said, staring at her new body parts with equal parts horror and awe. “This is new.”

8888

She spent almost an entire day in the TARDIS wardrobe before finally giving up. The wardrobe room was miles long, and had more floors to it than she could count, and yet she still couldn't find a thing to wear.

Bras were impossible to figure out, and kept poking her in sensitive areas. Nothing had big enough pockets to carry her sonic screwdriver. Lots of clothes were confusing and only looked like they had pockets. Every bit of makeup that she tried looked terrible. The stuff that her past companions had called ‘eyeliner' was irritating, to say the least. And the less that was said about it, the better.

Not to mention, the Old Girl kept pulling out one specific dress for her to wear - a tight green dress that shimmered with gold in the light, with a plunging neckline.

Not only is it not her style, but it was River's. Not just River's style, but River's actual dress. It wasn't appreciated, and the Doctor told the timeship as such.

“Really, dear?” she shouted up at the ceiling, scowling when the TARDIS chastised her, sending an angry hum her way. “Keep torturing me, why don't you?”

The Old Girl sighed. Her Thief seemed to be/will be/is taking their regeneration harder than he/she/they normally did/will have/has. Which was why she wasn't understanding what the timeship was trying to tell her. So naturally, the Type 40 TT time capsule took matters into her own hands - although that was a strange expression, considering that she didn't have hands.

Either way, she took them off through time and space, the takeoff so bumpy that it jostled the new Doctor where she was in the wardrobe. “Where are we going?” She called out, holding onto one of the coral struts in a death grip.

But she didn't get an answer.

8888

River Song sighed, letting her head fall back against the wall. She was tired of grading student papers, and had barely made a dent in the stack of them. She was contemplating giving up for the night, when she heard it.

That sound that meant hope and home. That wheezing, groaning noise that she adored and hated in equal measure, because it meant two things. It meant that her husband was coming home… and it meant that he had left the bloody brakes on again.

River set aside her grading for the night. She got up from where she sat and checked to make sure that her blaster was still in its usual spot by the door, before fluffing her curls and checking her makeup quickly. It was always lovely to surprise one's husband when he arrived after having been gone for several months. She grabbed her blaster on her way out the door, just in case. Centuries of the Doctor being chased to her door made her more than a little wary.

She made her way out to the Old Girl, the familiar feel of the handle of her gun keeping her confident. She pushed open the TARDIS doors, looking around carefully. “Sweetie?” She called out, looking around cautiously. She didn't recognize the console room, and that alone worried her, because it most likely meant that this was a Doctor that she hadn't met yet.

“Bloody hell!” she could hear a strange voice coming down the hall, and River sighed. There was a part of her that always dreaded meeting the companions, because no matter how hard she tried to silence it, there was that little voice in her head that told her that her sweetie kept all those young girls around for more than just friendship.

They came into the console room, and River blinked. A woman with short blonde hair and gorgeous brown eyes was wrapped in a mans jacket, with absolutely nothing else on underneath.

“River!” the woman cried out, her posture sagging in relief even as she crashed into a wall. “Oh thank goodness you're here. How on earth do you manage to get dressed in the mornings?”

“I'm sorry?” River asked, trying to ignore the fact that there was a naked woman in her husband's ship, and to focus on the important issue, like where her husband was and who this woman was. “Do I know you? Where's the Doctor?”

“And here I thought regeneration only affected my memories.” The woman joked. “Or don't you recognize me?”

She was confused for a moment, before she realized what the woman meant. River walked closer, examining the woman. She had a large hoodie clutched to her body, hiding her form - which was a real shame, in River's honest opinion.

But it was her eyes that gave her away. They were dark brown, like chocolate and whisky mixed together into one terribly amazing concoction. They were full of hurt at the moment, but there was also a depth to them that could not be seen in any human.

“Doctor?” River whispered, and the woman's face split into a grin.

“Finally.” She said in relief. “I was starting to wonder if my wife was ever going to recognize me.” she leaned in then, placing a small kiss on River's lips.

River couldn't think. Her husband-turned-wife was kissing her for the first time in months, and now her hoodie had fallen open and - she pulled back slightly. “Sweetie.” She said, and the Doctor opened her eyes, looking irritated.

“Yes, what is it?”

“You're a girl now.” River said slowly, a mischievous smile spreading across her face.

The Doctor rolled her eyes. “Yes, dear.” She said dryly. “I think we've covered that now.”

“You have all sorts of lovely new parts that have never been used…” River practically purred, lowering her head to nip at the Doctor's ear. She would have continued with her seduction of this newest version of her spouse, if not for said spouse's interruption.

“Pockets!”

River blinked. “Sweetie, what are you talking about?” She asked, with the sort of patience that only came from years of marriage.

“You said things that never get used, which made me think of the pockets in the clothes that I tried on.” The Doctor replied, her head tilted to the side slightly.

River laughed, the sound just bubbling out of her. It was times like this that reminded her that no matter what her Time Lord - or Lady, she supposed - looked like on the outside, they were the same individual.

“Oh Doctor.” She said, grabbing her wife by the arm and pulling her towards the wardrobe room. “Not to worry, my love. I'll find you something to wear.”

She paused, watching as relief crossed over her wife's face before she smirked.

“In the morning, of course.”

The other blonde woman looked at her quizzically. “Why wait until then?” She asked, and the innocent expression on her face strongly reminded River of her first Doctor, with his youthful appearance and naive innocence where relationships were concerned.

“Because we'll be rather busy until then, my love.” River said with a wicked smile.

With that, she dragged her wife through the halls of the TARDIS, leading her towards the bedroom that they had shared for the last several hundred years.