Yowzah Oneshot Collection (1)

96(G)

"Where are we?" River asks, as the Doctor tugs on her wrist, pulling her along with him. There is a look on his face that makes her hesitate - a determined, serious look, a blazing fire in his eyes. He isn't angry, she can tell. But she can't tell what his intentions are, and it scares her a little. "Where are you taking me, Doctor?"

"Truth field," he answers shortly, not turning to look at her. "It's time we had an honest conversation."

"About what?" River asks, bewildered. She can't help but feel as though he's lost his mind even though she's the one that spent more than a thousand years in a computer.

The Doctor stops short and turns to face her, the fire still blazing brightly in his eyes, looking more determined than ever. "About us , River Song."

"You know, you can just ask me to tell you the truth," she points out. She tilts her head at him. "Or do you not trust me?"

The Doctor looks away for a moment, and she feels a sharp knife slicing into her heart. She'd thought - after being nursed back to health by him, after keeping his promise to never leave her side again - she'd thought that he chose this. That he wanted this as much as she did.

"The truth field," he starts, and she steels her jaw, ready to hide whatever words would come out and hurt her this time. "Is for me."

She blinks. She hadn't expected that.

"For you?"

He nods curtly, his fingers still encircled around her wrist tightly. She frowns at him in concern but he looks away again, and she can't help but notice the sheen of tears in his eyes.

"I've spent so much of our time together lying to you," he says, still refusing to look her in the eye. "I don't want to risk telling a lie out of habit and making things worse."

"Doctor..." she trails off, unsure of what to say.

He glances at her, just a tiny cursory look, but she catches the fear in his eyes - it takes her a few seconds to realise that he's afraid of losing her.

She wants to reassure him; she'd never thought about leaving, not when things between them were at their hardest. Not with her parents freshly gone from their lives; not with the deep cuts that she'd suffered from refusing to show her vulnerability to him. Not even when it had become clear that they brought out the worst in each other as easily as they brought out the best.

But she doesn't say anything.

"We're almost within the perimeters of it," he continues. He tugs on her wrist again, pulling her with him.

"I can walk by myself, thank you very much," she retorts, trying to yank her hand back towards herself but his hand catches the tips of her fingers, intertwining them together.

She casts a look at him, trying to read what he's thinking, but his face is blank, only caring about one thing - getting to the truth field. They are walking in a deserted village, abandoned shophouses and a town square all around them, and River looks ahead, a clear path towards a plain field full of grass.

This was supposed to be their first adventure together since her recovery. Her escape from the Library had left her body in a deeply fragile, weakened state and it had taken weeks of care from the nurses at the Sister of Infinite Schism as well as the Doctor for her to finally get back to normal.

He hadn't shown any sign of regret then. He'd taken her to the TARDIS, no questions asked, and looked after her without any complaint, giving her food and water and making sure she wasn't in pain. And when she had to start physical therapy, he'd been endlessly patient with her while she made slow progress. If she was being honest, she'd expected him to drop her back off at the Infinite Schism after a day with her.