Yowzah Oneshot Collection (1)

49(G)2

Chapter 2: down the rabbit hole
Chapter Text
Prompt: river x eleven, Alice in Wonderland

He woke up with a start. His head ached and he sat up carefully. "Legs - yes. Bowtie? Cool." He ran his hand over his neck and then further up. "And the hat survived! Oh excellent." He grinned to himself and clapped before glancing around and spotting his cane on the ground beside him. He clambered to his feet slowly, picking up his cane and checking around.

"I must have hit my head harder than I thought." He looked round the woods - dark and grey and mysteriously misty - if woods could be called such things. "I think they can." He responded to himself and glanced up and down the path.

"Talking to yourself. Never a good sign." A voice spoke from above him but when the Doctor glanced up, nothing was there. He frowned and glanced around once more, twirling on his heel with the assistance of his cane.

"Who's there?" He asked quickly, but echoing laughter was his only response. "Well. That's rude. I mean what's the point in talking to people if they can't see you? Unless of course, you're invisible, in which case, my bad - terribly rude of me."

A row of even teeth appeared, hovering in the air over a near-by low-hanging tree branch. Slowly two glowing green eyes materialized after and then several long strips of teal blue fur. The Doctor sighed and pulled his fob watch out of his pocket, making a show of checking it. "Is this going to take all day?"

A cat appeared with a soft pop and hiss of smoke, looking incredibly put out. "Well, if I'm keeping you from wandering about, completely lost - by all means, don't let me stop you." He huffed, crossing his paws in front of him as he glared balefully down at the Doctor.

"Oh a cat - excellent. I speak cat you know. Though, I suppose you speak english, so what's the point eh? Ah well, onwards I suppose. Where am I?"

"Right here, of course." The cat lolled onto its back, grinning at him with glee.

"Yes, quite right. Should have been more specific. Where is here exactly? I fell you see-"

"Down the rabbit hole, of course." The cat spoke over him, rolling over once more and placing his face on his paws.

"Yes! Bigger on the inside rabbit holes. Who'd have thought - honestly? So again - where is here?" The Doctor asked politely, and the cat laughed, the sound echoing through the trees.

"Nowhere. Middle of."

"Right. And how do I get back?"

"Can't go back - only forward. Silly man." The cat hummed as he spoke and looked him up and down. "She'll like you."

"Who will?"

"Can't ruin the surprise. Where's the fun in that?" He grinned again, and the tip of his tail started to fade from view.

"Wait - but how do I leave?" The cat's mocking laughter as he disappeared from view whispered around the Doctor. Soon enough, just his mouth was suspended above the branch again.

"You can check out whenever you like, Doctor. But you don't ever leave."

"How did you know my name?"

"How did you know mine?" He grinned and the Doctor frowned.

"But I didn't - I just said you were a cat."

"And so I am. I am a cat. A Cheshire Cat to be precise. And how did you know that?" The cat demanded in a huffy voice and the Doctor frowned.

"Because it's what you are."

"Precisely. I am a cat. And you are the Doctor. Should we not call things by their proper names? Well except for her - nobody calls her by her proper name, not in a million forevers."