miracle boys

55

calum only lasted four days before he broke down and called the doctor. the sickness he carried with him, from the twins, was too much to handle. the constant throwing up, the fevers, the muscle aches and pains...sometimes, calum could barely get out of bed to get paxton. his ankles and knees would swell up, sometimes almost to the size of a cantaloupe. as hard as it was for calum to admit it, the poor boy just couldn't do it.

it was a complete shit-show for them.

as hard and as tough as that conversation was for them to get through, they sat down and got through it. there were many, many tears shed from both boys. they both talked about the pregnancy, and how they thought the best decision would be a abortion.

calum never, never wanted to end a life that he carried. yet, he knew there was a bigger chance of them killing him. calum had to remind himself that it wasn't a selfish choice. hell, he wanted to grow old with ashton and watch paxton grow up. of course, calum couldn't do that if he was gone.

so, when he broke down and called the doctor, the earliest they could get in was three days later, at eight in the morning.

it was going to be the longest three days of calums life. three more days with his twins.

this was, in fact, the hardest thing calum was gonna have to do.

_

the morning after making the appointment

"hey, ashy?" calum asks softly from his spot on ashtons chest. the older boy grunts, and continues to rub calums side. it takes calum a couple seconds to swallow down all the nerves, and sadness.

"what..." calum starts, and then pauses, trying to find the right words to say. ashton frowns, and presses his warm hand onto calums side.

"what, babe? is everything okay?"

"what would you have wanted to name our twins?"

calum can feel ashton tense up at the question. but, it had been nagging on calums mind for so long. they were still somewhat alive, and they were their children, and calum finally decided that they deserved a name. even since they would never get to meet their twins, calum wanted to remember them. fuck, its not like calum (or ashton) would forget about them anyway.

"maybe...alex and mel? they're both uni-sex names, and they're simple," ashton says softly. calum smiles (which feels weird since its been hard to smile the past couple days).

"alex and mel...i like those names," calum says contently. ashton smiles too, and kisses calums head.

they don't get into more of a deeper conversation since paxtons cries start to echo the house. it immediately makes calum frown, because he couldn't go get paxton.

calums ankles were swollen so bad, he could barely take a couple of steps before he was crumbling over.

"be right back, babe," ashton says, rolling out of bed. calum gives his lover a soft smile, and them watches as ashton pads out of the room.

calum takes a big breath, and flips the blanket off of his naked chest. his pregnancy belly was obvious, with dark red stretch marks down half his stomach. if he looked down a little more, he could look at his swollen legs but he really didnt want to do that.

"hey mel," calum says softly, placing his hand on top of his stomach, "hey alex. it's your dada talking. you're growing in my belly right now...but unfortunately, i won't be able to give you the life you deserve. im so, so sorry about that...t-there's nothing i c-can do, b-but i want y-you to know that i-i love you, so m-much."

tears fall down calums cheek, and this time he just doesn't even try to stop them.

for the longest time, it feels like, calum just cries and keeps his hand on his swollen belly. calum would trade mostly anything (but paxton, ashton, and himself) for his twins. if only the world wasn't so cruel, calum thought.

yet, when ashton walks in with a happy, smiling paxton...he stops crying, and he smiles. yes, he knows he'll always love his unborn babies, but he also has paxton.

paxton, his ten month old deaf baby was the most important person to him, just like ashton. when calum holds paxton...he sees their future.

twenty years in the future.

he, and ashton, are both gray haired. they have more wrinkles on their faces. yet, they still love each other unconditionally. their love was so strong, nothing could come between them.

paxton, who was going to college to be a writer, still lives at home. he always jokes about how he'll never move out of his parents house, just because he loves them too much (calum and ashton don't mind. especially while paxton was in college. besides, they would do anything for their son).

paxton also has a girlfriend, named mel. after calum and ashton met her for the first time, calum went home and cried in ashtons arms for an hour.

they aren't mad at us, ashton! calum would cry, "they're our guardian angels! they've been with us since we lost them!"

ashton would cry too, because it was all so much. calum, and his words, and the painful remembering. yet, it wasn't as painful. ashton knew calum was right-

"calum? babe?"

calum blinks his eyes, and looks at a concerned ashton.

"you spaced out on me, love...what's going on it that head of yours?"

calum smiles, and looks next to him, where paxton was curled up.

"nothing," calum whispers, and brings paxton against his chest, "come on, i want a family cuddle."

"yes, sir," ashton jokes, laying next to calum. they fall together so easily. sometimes, calum forgets how in love and lucky he really is.

and guardian angels, they were.

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decided to post again, especially for sugarcoatedpainn because i love u and i hope ur doing okay (but u do need to be prepared for the drama coming)
CALUM WILL NOT BE KILLED OFF !!!!!
comments? predictions?
unedited
love u!