Friendship to Love (Life is strange fanfiction)

Far From Perfect

 Nathan went to the bathroom and cried. He couldn't believe what he had done, he had just told Kate to go to a party where he knew she would get drugged. He would never forgive himself for this. Nor could he justify this, yes Mr.Jefferson would have hurt 20 other people if Nathan didn't do that, but that doesn't make what Nathan did ok. Nathan just ruined Kate's life. No matter what happens she will always remember the night she gets drugged, and Nathan will always be the one responsible for it.

To make Nathan's day even worse he had to go to TDR after school. "Did you do it yet, did you convince Kate to go to the Vortex Club party?" Mr.Jefferson asked when they were in TDR. "Yes." Nathan said quietly.

"Great job Nathan, I'm proud of you.".

Nathan was so discussed with that sentence, the fact that his teacher was proud of him for convincing a girl to go to a party where he knew she would get drugged was wrong on so many levels. Nathan had always subconsciously wanted validation from Mr.Jefferson, he knew Mr.Jefferson was a terrible person, but it would have been nice to know Mr.Jefferson at least cared about him. Though now that Nathan was hearing Mr.Jefferson say he was proud of him, he hated it.

He hated how he had changed in the past year, Nathan remembered back when Mr.Jefferson would say we instead of I and Nathan thought to himself, no it is you who is doing all this bad stuff, not me. Now the we was true, Nathan had participated in Mr.Jefferson's plan, and there was no way to sugar coat that.

Mr.Jefferson could see that Nathan was upset and said: "Nathan this isn't going to go well if you're already getting upset."

"What do you mean?" Nathan asked, thinking he had a very valid reason to be upset.

"You haven't really done anything yet, and you are acting like you committed murder or something."

"I just convinced a girl to go to a party I'm planning on drugging her at, I think that's pretty bad."

"Nathan you're being dramatic, she'll be fine we're not going to hurt her."

"Ya, she'll just be traumatized for the rest of her life, she will never forget it."

"Nathan it's fine."

"No, it's not."

"She is one person, the world isn't going to end."

"Her's might."

"But she is only one person, so it won't affect many people."

After a long 2 hours, Nathan finally left TDR. Once he got to his room he called Lily. When she picked up Nathan said: "Hi, it's me." Nathan had told Lily to keep her guard up when he called or texted her just in case it wasn't actually him, and Mr.Jefferson was forcing him to talk to her. Nathan told her that if Mr.Jefferson was around he would say, Hello Lily, and if Mr.Jefferson wasn't he would say, hi, it's me.

"Hey what's up?"

"Hey, sorry to bother you but not having a great day can you talk?"

"Ya for sure, what's up."

"I can't tell you details, but I'll give you the gist. I had to do something for Mr.Jefferson that I really didn't want to do. It was a lose-lose situation, if I did it something bad would happen, and if I didn't do it something worse would happen. Now I feel terrible for doing it. I'm in so deep with Mr.Jefferson, and I can't get out. If I try to get away from him I will just end up hurting other people, and I can't do that. It's just not fair, when he pulled me in I was young, I was easy to manipulate and I didn't know what I was agreeing to."

"I'm sorry, that sounds terrible, but I want you to know that whatever you did, if it was better than not doing it you're still a good person. Sometimes the right choice is still bad, but it's better than the wrong choice. You're doing your best, and that's all you can do."

"But my best isn't good enough."

"Nathan I know things are far from perfect, but you helped me, and I'm pretty sure whatever Mark Jefferson is forcing you to do, would have been done even if you weren't there. So don't think about how you are negatively affecting people's lives, think about how you are positively affecting people's lives. Like me, you got rid of those pictures, that wouldn't have happened without you."

"Thank you, you have made me feel slightly less shitty, and given the circumstances, that's pretty hard."

"Any time. I believe in you Nathan, just remember how you have made things better. Goodbye."

"Goodbye."