BEHIND CLOSED DOORS ( MAN*MAN)

Chapter 38. Rewritten.

Dedicated this chapter to DaiMao0 for supporting my book. I appreciate it so much your my trusted friend, thanks so much stay safe and keep enjoying my stories.

Whenever we are together,
I have the best times of my life
You light up my life baby.

Read Chapter 38 before this guys.

~~~

"How can you fall out of love," Ethan sighed typing into the search wall of Google. He started looking through the web, eyes scanning carefully reeking through all the options but to him they were all shitty. He took a deep breath as he read the first solution.

Loss of intimacy. Ethan still wants the man in his bed and so very much wants to fuck him. That is out.

Seek counseling. Who the fuck wants to do that. How is it going to help? No one can counsel his heart. He moved to the next one feeling annoyed.

Accept that you love them. Stupid Google. He already admits the fact that he loves Kenny. How many times does he have to say it for it to disappear? Ethan felt angry and blacked his phone throwing it on the table. He just wasted his time with that shit. He leaned back in his chair rubbing his temples in thoughts. Four fucken days and Kenny hasn't contacted him at all. Four fucken days and he is still a mess because his heart refused to accept the fact that the man doesn't want him like he wants him.

Everything was going well. They both enjoyed fucking each other. The pleasure and want was there. Ethan couldn't have mistaken it so what did Ethan do for Kenny to behave like that? He is so fucken tired. He is tired of guessing when the man doesn't even care.

Why did Ethan have to fall when Kenny made it clear as a day that he couldn't fall in love with him? Why didn't he control his stupid heart? Now he was here grieving as if he had lost an important part of himself which feels like it if you ask him. He hasn't slept well for days, he has bugs under his eyes due to less sleep but how can he sleep when all his mind is on one person? He wants to hear his voice so bad.

Ethan picked up his phone. His hand hovered over the bastard's number contemplating whether to call him or not. Like many times he chickened out. It will hurt so much if the man ignores his call or better yet blocked him. It's better not to find out. He sighed heavily throwing it back on the table cursing under his breath. "The next time I see him, I'm going to punch him square in the face," Ethan muttered trying to concentrate on the design he was making but he couldn't for the life of him. That motherfucker messes with his brain.

He stood up and walked to where he kept his vodka. Nowadays he finds himself craving for it just to forget for a little bit. He poured himself a glass Downing it in one go. He closed his eyes and leaned his hands against the table feeling his head pounding and his throat sour followed by a tear that flowed out of his eyes without knowing. Since he met Kenny, all he does is cry. When is it going to end? Why can't he stop his heart from feeling this way? If he could turn off a switch, that would be great so that he wouldn't feel this way for the fucker.

Ethan gathered himself. He cleaned his face and decided to force himself to work. He wanted to get lost in work but in the end, he found himself with a perfect sketch of Kenny on the piece of paper on which he was supposed to make a design. This was really messed up.