BEHIND CLOSED DOORS ( MAN*MAN)

Chapter 49. Rewritten

Because of you I laugh a little harder,
And I cry less

Read Chapter 48 before this.

*****
Paul was forty-five years old and in just a few months, he would be forty-six. Yet here he was acting like a teenager. Jimmy was fast asleep and Paul was busy trancing invisible lines along his perfect face. Paul feels overwhelmed and scared at the same time. The way he feels for Jimmy is beyond him and he doesn't know what to do.

Jimmy had confessed his love for him weeks ago and everything the boy says those words, Paul felt like saying them back coz that's how he feels. He has fallen head over heels for the younger sometimes it's embarrassing. Paul was even thinking of coming out to his son which had never crossed his mind but last night, hearing Jimmy say those comforting words to him made him to want tell Kenny. Surprisingly he wants to be open to loving Jimmy. He was excited and scared at the same time but he knows Jimmy would be here with him. The boy had proven and showed his love for him countless times.

Paul feels sorry for Phil, Jimmy picked him over the other boy but he can't help the feeling. Who was Paul to be picked over Phil, the best friend Jimmy had known almost his whole life? The handsome boy who looked so great beside Jimmy and on top of that, he was the same age as his boyfriend but Jimmy had picked him over the boy. That only makes Paul happy and at the same time feel guilty but for the first time in years, Paul wanted to be selfish. For the first time, he wants to please himself, not others.

Paul doesn't care now, he had decided to tell Kenny today. His heart raced rapidly but he was willing to risk it all. Jimmy is worthy of all the risks. Paul sighed heavily sitting up. "Wake up honey," he gave him a kiss on the lips softly. "Honey, wake up," Paul called again when the younger didn't shift at all. Jimmy rolled to his back squirting his eyes as he looked at Paul's eyes and as soon as he saw that beautiful face, a smile craved his lips.

"Baby," his voice was groggy and husky due to sleep. It made Paul shiver at the sound. So sexy.

"You should wake up," Paul said softly.

"I need more sleep," Jimmy muttered closing his eyes again.

"You have a test in about two hours, you need to get ready," Paul remained

"Fuck, I slept late for that shit," Jimmy said sitting up with a tired sigh. "I just want to sleep," he whined more making Paul smile. Oh god, he loves him so much. Paul wanted to voice it out so badly.

"Too bad you can't," Paul chuckles softly.

"Let's just cuddle and forget about that shit," Jimmy pulled him in his chest hugging him so tightly Paul felt his windpipe closing.

"Not too tight," he muttered making Jimmy lessen his grip on him a little. "You go shower while I prepare you some breakfast,"

"I want to first make love to you," Jimmy suggested pulling him out of the hug and kissing his lips softly.

"After your test, remember," Paul smiled carassing his boyfriend's jaw softly. He loves the scratch around it.

"Why are you so mean," Jimmy whined "I'm so horny," he breathed out leaning against the headboard. Paul sighed looking at his horny boyfriend trying to think of ways to get him out of bed. He had denied Jimmy sex for three days now all because of this test. Paul doesn't want to distract the younger.