Øverturning the lies (a twenty one pilots fanfiction)

~Tyler~

TW- self-harm

I failed.

That thought echos around Tyler's head and he's not sure why.

[For some reason "Dream" by Imagine Dragons is stuck in my head. I really don't know why-ha, no pun intended. If you don't get that, whatever. I doubt anyone's even going to read this story anyway. Come around and prove me wrong, eh?]

But what did he fail at?

He traces the bandage on his right hand, wincing when jolts of pain tear through him.

It hurts, but that's the whole point.

It's supposed to hurt.

He knows that.

He knows that, and still he can barely keep the tears from trickling down, down [in an earlier round, no? Okay, I'll stop] his face.

Why is he crying?

That's a sign of weakness.

Am I just weak? Tyler wonders.

He doesn't want to be. But he thinks he probably is.

And that's when he hears a familiar voice. "No."

Tyler turns his head, surprised to see who's standing there beside him. It's...it's Josh.

"You're not weak," Josh says. "You're not, Tyler."

Then why don't I have the strength to fight back? he asks silently. I just go along with it all.

Josh just sighs. He looks tired.

And when he answers, he doesn't say any of the words Tyler wants to hear.

"Because this place...it's meant to trap you."

Josh, Tyler begs. You made it out. Can't you help me do the same?

"I'm sorry," Josh says. "I'm sorry. I don't...I don't know how. I don't know what I'm doing, Tyler!"

And then Tyler understands. The thoughts of failure in his mind were Josh's, not his own.

Josh...he thinks.

Josh turns away. "I wish I could help you. But I can't even seem to help myself."

No, Tyler thinks. No...

He tries to think of something to tell Josh, but his mind is so full of negativity its impossible.

And then Josh is gone and he's all alone.

He's so upset that when Nico comes for him, this time in the middle of meal hour, he doesn't hesitate to follow him.

Nor does he hesitate when Nico hands him the knife.

He simply watches, as if from out of his body, as the scarlet rivulets of blood trickle down his arm.

The pain is welcome this time.

Tyler is barely aware of Nico tying a bandage around his arm.

But he's aware of the tears that come without warning.

"What's wrong, child?" Nico asks, almost gently.

Almost...kindly.

It would be scary, but Tyler is so used to harshness and sharp words and silence that it almost seems like a welcome change.

Nico tilts Tyler's chin up.

"Don't be afraid," Nico says. "You are truly one of us now."

The bishop sounds almost proud.

Tyler just nods. He doesn't know what else to do.

Nico's words echo around his head.

Truly one of us now...truly one of us now...

Is that what he wants?

Is this right?

Or has he been trapped in Dema so long lies look like truth and darkness looks like light?

I'm just now realizing how sad some of this is. But it'll get happier...eventually.