Why? Out of everything that could be happening to her right now, out of everything that has ever happened, why is this it?
Sometimes the sheer randomness of it all hits her so hard, like now.
What's not to say that if she had been someone else, somewhere else, she would be experiencing the best day of her short, pathetic life?
But it doesn't matter, she thinks as the tears come.
It doesn't matter as everything she thought she knew is uprooted, leaving her floundering alone in a cold, unforgiving scene?
Cold and confused and aching and hurt.
Why did it have to be him?
Why couldn't it have happened to anyone else? Or better yet, why did it have to happen at all?
Finally Mari tears her eyes away from the scene she's unwilling to believe the scene her eyes are really, truly, honestly showing her.
It's pouring rain outside so everything, including her, is drenched.
Distantly she's aware that she's shivering.
But it doesn't matter.
Nothing will make this right.
Out of nowhere her fingers itch to retrace their familiar pattern, ultimately hurting her even more.
But everything she is is somehow both begging her not to and pleading with her just to get it over with.
No one is around, her mind tells her calmly. Rationally.
And yet-
She hesitates.
She hesitates as she reaches into her pocket, where the sharp blades clink together, contrasting with the way her jacket, yellow and comforting, once fit around her.
Like its very existence was meant to make her feel safe.
But-
Her breath catches in her throat.
Not now.
Not anymore.
Maybe she never even deserved to be protected. That hits her the hardest.
But doesn't stop her from ripping off her yellow colors, the ones that mark her as a rebel.
She rips the jacket off, leaves it there in the rain.
And it's now that it hits her the hardest-if neither of them had left the city, none of this would have happened.
"I NEVER SHOULD HAVE LEFT!" she screams to the sky in a fit of rage, screaming to the cruel, uncaring world, not caring who hears her.
She thinks back to everything she's ever endured.
Has she ever felt this low?
No.
Or maybe-
No.
No.
So there lodges something black and dark in her heart, taking the place of any small bit of hope that might have remained.
"Now what?" she asks, her voice barely above a whisper.
"Now what?"
Now nothing, she thinks as a numbness envelops her.
Now nothing...
YOU ARE READING
Øverturning the lies (a twenty one pilots fanfiction)
FanfictionTyler is alone in the city of Dema. He can't remember who he was before then. All he knows now is trying to survive in this world. He sees others around him who are struggling too, and he wants to help them. But he can't. He can't even seem to help...
