Øverturning the lies (a twenty one pilots fanfiction)

~Jøsh~

How had he forgotten her? Josh wonders.

His best fren's...what? Girlfren? Wife? He couldn't even remember at this point.

[I want to put "StarClan" here-wow, those warriors books are still affecting my brain 😁] Frick, his time in Dema had taken a lot out of him.

He doubted he'd remember his own parents, even if they walked right in front of him.

But he knew he would be able to recognize Tyler. He had tried to explain it to Mari, but he really didn't know how to convey the connection he felt to his fren.

And...he couldn't stop these thoughts from creeping into his brain...he knew he would feel it if his fren died.

What then? Josh wondered. Would he have the strength to go on, try to free as many of the captives in Dema as possible? Or would he simply give up?

He hated himself for even thinking such thoughts, because they brought the fears he had buried deep, deep into his mind back to the center of his mind.

"Josh?" Jenna asks, breaking the silence he hadn't even realized had settled over them. "Are you-"

"Please-" Josh says, "Don't ask me if I'm okay. I most certainly am not."

"I didn't think so," Jenna says. "I'm not, either. None of us are. Some of us are just better at hiding it than others."

A moment passes in silence. Another.

Eventually Josh asks, "Do you miss him?"

"Tyler?" Jenna asks. "Yes. Every day. The worst part is...I don't think he remembers me at all."

"It's not his fault," Josh says.

"I know," Jenna says. "But...I still do."

"I'm sorry," Josh says. "I never once thought of how hard it must be for y-"

"Don't be sorry," Jenna interjects. "I know you've had a lot on your mind."

"I-" Josh can't think of what to say.

He has, so he can't even deny it. Responsibility has been thrust upon him and he has been slowly buckling, bending under its weight for so long. He doesn't even remember what it's like to live without the constant worry, constant nagging doubt in his mind.

Maybe he never did. Josh sighs, feeling yet another invisible, heavy burden force down on him. A burden of the past, of what might have been. Of the life he might have had if he had never came to Dema, never even heard of the word.

Another moment or two passes in silence. The uncomfortable, tense kind.

"If nothing else," Jenna finally says softly, looking right at Josh, shaking him out of his thoughts, "I'll be glad I tried. And if we fail..."

She laughs humorlessly. "Then I'll be glad to fail beside you."

Josh thinks back to all the times she was there, supporting him. She had often done it silently, but she had been there nonetheless.

She had supported him [I want to write "right from the start-" Actually I just want to start singing memories apparently] since the very beginning, since he had first put on the yellow colors signifying that he had joined the cause of the rebels in fighting the false teachings of vialism.

"I'm still sorry," Josh says.

"Please stop apologizing," Jenna says, without breaking stride.

"I-" Josh realizes the words he is about to say are "I'm sorry" and lapses into silence.

"If its any consolation," Jenna says, "I could barely remember who you were, when I first saw you."

Josh has a thought all of a sudden and can't help but voicing it.

"Could you remember Tyler?" Josh asks. "In..."

Jenna glances at him and he wishes he hadn't said anything.

"Yes," she says, after a moment. "I could. At...at first. But then, well, I couldn't.After leaving, though, I did. I did remember."

Josh remembers seeing Jenna around the banditøs' camp before. She always seemed to blend into the shadows, never really talking much, but always there. Always supporting in whatever way she could, even if it was quietly, and easily overlooked.

Now he wonders if there was another reason she acted the way she did, and not simply-Josh mentally scoffs at himself-simply, there was nothing simple about what the bishops did to those under their "care"-because of what she, along with the rest, would have endured in Dema, in the city of lies.

"Do you wish you could have changed his mind?" Josh asks quietly.

"Of course," Jenna says. "I..."

She lets out a sigh. "I would have taken his place. If he'd let me."

"He wouldn't have," Josh says quietly.

"I know," Jenna says. "I know. He was-is-determined, so determined to keep the people he cared about safe, no matter what."

"He might as well have saved all of our lives," Josh realizes.

Jenna looks at him. "You're right. You're-you're right."

He stares at the landscape surrounding the two of them. With all the green...all the trees, it's such a sharp contrast from he harsh grays of Dema.

Josh realizes, right then and there, if it hadn't been for Tyler, he would not be standing here, breathing this clean, fresh air.

That hits him hard.

Josh remembers the conversation he had with Mari, the truth behind those words.

The way he was able to be there with Tyler, when his fren was faced with even more difficulties. The things he would say in an attempt to reassure him.

But...one solid fact seems to stare Josh in the face.

For a while, all thoughts of his best fren had lurked at the back of his mind, pushed aside by the burden of leadership, the anxiety always waiting, ready to strike when he was least expecting it, and the doubts he tried to pretend didn't exist.

He had been so consumed by his own struggles and trying his best (which was never enough, he knew, never) to help the other banditøs with theirs that he had, for a time, barely thought of Tyler.

Maybe that was, Josh thinks, for the best.

Because when he was pulled to his fren's side, he always seemed to find Tyler in...well, less than ideal situations.

That was when he knew something was clearly wrong, and when he felt the most guilty for forgetting his fren, even if his reasons were justified.

And when he started realizing how much trouble Tyler was really in.

Josh stares at the city in the distance.

Jenna notices. She doesn't say anything, but she notices.

Josh lets out a sigh and rubs the yellow fabric of the bandana around his neck anxiously.

Hold on, Ty, he thinks. Please.

It was time he made good on his promise.

He just prayed he wouldn't be too late.

I just gasped out loud re-reading this. JOSH CALLED HIM TY!!! IM SCREAMING!!! sorry, im kinda obsessed with this band but you probably knew that by now lol.