She doesn't know why she can't just sit still, sit still and listen to these words that are supposed to be the truth, supposed to help her.
The things she hears Josh saying.
Some other banditøs she doesn't recognize are gathered around him.
She's supposed to be listening, all of them are.
But she can't.
Maybe it reminds her too much of another setting she used to know.
Another time and another, more dangerous place.
She finds herself getting up. Trying to find solace in an action repeated again and again.
Again.
She uncaps the water bottle, takes a sip even though she's not particularly thirsty, just needs something to do with her hands. Just needs anything that will make her feel like she's genuinely doing something that will help her.
Someone walks over towards her and she stiffens, clutching the water like its a lifeline.
It isn't.
But she is just so scared of what other people might think of her, that they'll misinterpret hre behavior. Think she's strange.
She is.
She knows that.
But they maybe don't.
They might now how strange, how odd she is.
Maybe they don't care maybe she's just being dramatic, same way she always is.
Yes.
Dramatic.
Overly emotional and aware, to a point where it becomes a hiderence, something keeping her from experiencing life to its fullest.
Still.
It's a way of avoiding what makes her uncomfortable and that is something she seems to excell at.
So she takes another sip of water and looks out on the sea of people.
She can't do it.
She's supposed to be a part of this, but she feels more and more distant as her mind churns out more theories for why.
She's a wreck.
No one cares.
"It was Mari, wasn't it?" a blonde woman asks her, and she nods.
"How...how are you doing?" she asks.
Mari just shrugs.
"Well, please just let me-or anyone-know if you need something, all right?" she asks.
Her name comes to Mari in a flash.
Jenna.
Mari nods but knows deep down she won't.
She doesn't want to be a burden.
So she just holds onto her anger and fear and loneliness.
Takes another sip of water.
Hates herself for hiding behind such monotonous actions.
But she does.
It's stupid.
It's practically pointless.
But she does.
YOU ARE READING
Øverturning the lies (a twenty one pilots fanfiction)
FanfictionTyler is alone in the city of Dema. He can't remember who he was before then. All he knows now is trying to survive in this world. He sees others around him who are struggling too, and he wants to help them. But he can't. He can't even seem to help...
