What had driven her over the edge?
She still doesn't know.
Was it an accumulation of things that all just went wrong or was it just once specfic instance that resulted in her almost almost doing something terrible?
She still doesn't know whether she managed to stop herself or just pushed herself too close, far, far too close to the edge she wishes she had stopped herself from even seeing, there, in the distance?
But it doesn't matter.
Whether she's wearing the same clothes she wore when she escaped Dema, because sure enough, as she looks down, she realizes she's wearing the same gray shirt, or whether she's wearing the banditø clothes, she's still the same deep down, isn't she?
Whether she's reminded of the choices she made there as a result...well, that doesn't matter.
Because being reminded of what she did doesn't stop her.
Not this time and not fully, no.
Does it matter if she managed to pull away before nothing terrible happened?
Something happened and it seems as though she is a terrible person for letting it.
For not being to just let go of the habits that have hurt her before?
For not being able to let go?
She wishes she could.
Really, really wants to.
She bites her lip, fighting the lingering feelings.
Fighting fighting fighting.
Why not give in?
Because she knows its not right.
She's afraid that if she fights it for long enough she'll forget why.
But she won't she won't she can't because at the end of the day she's still fighting the same demons that leave her weak and exhausted.
She will keep fighting and though it might not always be easy may take all her strength she knows it will work out.
Not hopes.
Knows.
She is, if not safe, than loved.
She's seen it.
And that-that's enough for now.
Enough to pull her through.
Breathe.
In.
Out.
Not giving in.
Or up.
Standing.
And facing those fears.
Until they disappear completely.
They will.
One day.
One day.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Herself, flawed and strong and brave and true and maybe misunderstood but not weak.
Never.
Never weak.
A survivor.
That's what she is and she will hold on through the dark nights and bitter mornings and unrestfull afternoons...
A heart full of hope.
That's what gets her through.
A smile crosses her lips.
Yes.
Hope isn't lost.
Just hiding for a little while.
YOU ARE READING
Øverturning the lies (a twenty one pilots fanfiction)
FanfictionTyler is alone in the city of Dema. He can't remember who he was before then. All he knows now is trying to survive in this world. He sees others around him who are struggling too, and he wants to help them. But he can't. He can't even seem to help...
