Øverturning the lies (a twenty one pilots fanfiction)

~Jøsh~

Possible TW-talks about self-harm briefly (Mari talks about it a little bit). Again, this story is about overcoming that, but if this bothers you, you can skip over it.

Right now, Josh wants nothing more than to give the crushing weight of responsibility he feels to someone else. Because he's afraid that's the only way for things to ever be okay.

What has he done to help, anyway?

You led the banditøs out of Dema, a small voice in his mind tells him.

So? He tells it. Anyone could have done that.

Maybe that's true, maybe its not.

But either way, he's interrupted from arguing with himself in just a moment.

"Josh?" a girl's voice says hesitantly.

Josh sighs and forces himself to get up.

Judging from the soft streaks of light starting to paint themselves across the sky [that sounded really good! Wow!], it's early morning.

So he would have needed to get up in a little bit anyway, if he was to continue the banditø's schedule, another day of being on the move.

Josh tries to force himself to sound at least halfway polite, but it's a struggle.

"W-what-" he yawns, "Do you want?"

Mari pokes her head into the tent, then crawls inside. There isn't much room, but she's fairly [local? Hah. Nope] skinny. She makes it work without it feeling too cramped.

Which Josh is grateful for. Ever since his time in Dema small spaces make him very uncomfortable.

"Wow," she says. "You look pretty terrible. Did you sleep at all?"

"No," Josh says. "Not after...well..."

Mari's hand goes to her mouth. "Oh my Josh!"

For a moment Josh is too distracted by what she just said to hear anything else.

"Wait, did you really just say 'Oh my Josh?'" Josh asks.

Mari pauses. "Oh. I suppose I did."

Josh smiles halfheartedly.

Mari looks at him. "Can I use that from now on, actually?"

"Sure," Josh says.

She smiles. "All right."

But the smile almost immediately fades.

"I'm..." Mari begins, evidently searching for a way to say what she is thinking. "I'm sorry about last night."

"Oh," Josh says, remembering. "No. Don-don't be sorry."

"Well...I just left you alone," Mari says. "And you were counting on me. It just felt...wrong."

"It's really okay," Josh says. "I should have realized-"

"That they convinced me to-to hurt myself?" Mari asks, her voice shaking.

"I just...I didn't mean to-" Josh begins.

Mari hugs her knees to her chest, and he can practically see the defenses go up in her mind.

"From what I've seen so far," Mari says, her voice muffled slightly, "you're a nice guy, Josh. I know you didn't try to bring up painful memories."