Øverturning the lies (a twenty one pilots fanfiction)

~Tyler~

Is he dreaming or is this truly happening? 

He doesn't know but doesn't know if he wants to know. 

The moment has dragged him under, fully and completely. 

And it seems as though Nico is holding him. Again.

"What do you want from me?" 

"I don't want anything from you," the bishop says. "I want to help you."

"No you don't-" Tyler says, his heart beating fast, his breath catching in his throat. 

"You don't," he says, trying to break out of the bishop's grip. 

"I do,"  Nico insists. "I see things you could never understand. I know you are better off not in this world!"

"What do you mean?" Tyler asks. 

Nico smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. 

Not that his eyes are pleasant to look at anyway. 

"I mean that this world was doomed anyway," the bishop says. "It's been spiraling towards destruction for some time now. Action needed to be taken. So the city was formed."

"...as a means of escape...." Tyler finds himself saying. 

"Perhaps," Nico says. "But perhaps not. I could not tell you. I am not the first of my kind." 

"No?" Tyler asks. "You aren't?"

"Of course not," the bishop says. "There were so many before me. They chose me, and so I had to follow their path. It was...it was not always easy, but I followed their footsteps. As I wished you would follow mine." 

"You want me dead," Tyler says, barely able to keep the anger out of his voice. 

"I want you safe," Nico says. "If you're no longer in this world, you are no longer in danger." 

"But then I won't be able to experinece anything," Tyler protests. 

"How do you know you will ever expericence any joy again?" the bishop questions. "How do you know this isn't all these is to life?" 

"I-" he can't even protest. 

He's asked himself the same question. 

"How do you know any of the joy you have ever felt will ever come back to you again?" Nico asks. "Perhaps it never will." 

"But maybe it will," Tyler says. 

"You don't know that," the bishop says. "Things might get worse; what will you do then?" 

"They might get better," he says, wishing he could believe it. "In the future, aren't there thousands of possibilities?" 

"How would I know?" Nico asks. "How would you know? You have to get there first." 

"I-" 

"And if its like the rest of your life, perhaps it isn't worth making it to," Nico says, "Perhaps not at all." 

"But-"

"I care for you," Nico says, like its the simplest thing in the world and their whole relationship doesn't revolve around pain. 

"I don't want to see you leave," Nico admits, and that truly surprises Tyler. 

"Yes you do," Tyler says. 

"No," Nico says. "I want you not to experience any more pain. Life is the very definition of pain." 

"Like you would know," Tyler says angrily.

"But I would," Nico says, and the seriousness of his voice shocks Tyler into listening. 

"I do know," Nico says. "Why do you think I'm trying to keep you from experiencing any more?" 

"I-" 

"The world is a dangerous place, child," Nico says. "Dangerous indeed. It's already worn you down, hasn't it?" 

"No," Tyler says. 

"Liar," Nico says, and Tyler hates that he's right. 

"You're already tired," the bishop says. "already tired of living. How many nights have you laid awake, wishing things were different?" 

"Too many," Tyler swallows, realizing he said it aloud. 

"Exactly," Nico says. "And you know-you know-how you wil never be able to control everything. Don't you?"

"Yes," Tyler admits. "I do know. Like how I can't control your peresence." 

"Do you truly hate me so?"

"Yes," Tyler says. 

"No," Nico says. "You are tired of my existence, but you don't hate me. You can't make yourself hate me, not anymore." 

"I do hate you," Tyler says. "You're the reason why I can't find any joy in living-in anything." 

"No," Nico says. "You would have felt that no matter what." 

But Tyler has no idea whether that's true or not because he doesn't remember the last time he wasn't aware of the bishops constant presence. 

He hates it. 

But it's true. 

Nico has always been there, a thorn pricking his heart for what may as well have been years, years of his life that he will never get back. 

"If you've already lost so much time," Nico says, reaading his thoughts, "then why even continue?" 

"I don't know," Tyler says softly, in a voice barely louder than a whisper. "I don't know..."

"Now do you see?" Nico asks. 

"Yes," Tyler says and he feels the scene slipping away...

He finds himself awake, though he doesn't know where he is, not at first. 

But he remembers where Nico's hands were. 

He remembers becuase where the bishop's hands were, he feels pain. 

Sharp and cold. 

Almost a reminder. 

Why do you even continue living? 

Nico's voice echos in his head, and he finds that he can't even answer that question. 

Honestly and truly he has buried that question deep inside of himself so that he doesn't have to answer it, doesn't have to justify his cotinued existence. 

He manages to shove it aside for now but feels it weighing heavy on his heart. 

Does anyone else feel this way? he wonders, alone in his pain, or is he the only one? 

It doesn't matter. 

Because he feels it.

Feels it and can't escape it. 

What would that be like? he wonders, living without constantly questioning why. 

WIthout constantly questioning if there is any purpose.

But he wouldn't know that, now, would he? 

A sense of bitterness grips him. 

Yet another thing he can't control. 

His feelings. 

Maybe...he thinks. Maybe Nico was right. 

Maybe it's just his imagination but he thinks he can hear the bishops voice again, saying, "Of course I am, child. Of course I am." 

Of course. 

His words lodge somewhere in his mind, somwehere he know he'll find himself drawn to again, sometime. 

He always was drawn to the darker thoughts, wasn't he?