Alaska is a normal teenage girl who loves to dance, she isn't asian in any way though. She didn't expect to make it into JYP entertainment but to her surprise it was Felix Lee who helped her get in, she needs to debut or else it'll be all for nothin...
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𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝑵𝒖𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓 31 Blame
"I'm so proud of you, Alaska." Yuna hugged me tightly. "You made it, and I just know you'll do incredible with or without us."
"Don't say things like that, you both deserved a spot too." I cried.
We were now backstage, it was all over... No more camera crew following us around. It was now just us, I felt terrible.
"I don't want to do this without you guys, I don't have a bond with the other girls it feels weird." I explained. "I'm not close with them."
"But you will be, I heard y'all will get a reality show soon as well!" Nina smiled as she wiped her tears away.
"That's true, you girls will." I hear a voice walk behind me.
I turned to my side and see Felix with a huge smile and a bouquet of flowers, it made me feel a bit happier but I still feel guilty.
I couldn't do things for myself, I've grown an attachment to the girls and I want to do everything with them but now that I'm basically alone... Did I really want this spot?
I hugged Felix tightly as I cried into his chest, he pat my back softly and whispered sweet things to me to help me contain myself. Thank you Felix, I wouldn't have made these friends without you.
• • •
"Wow." My eyes widened at the dorm, it was much bigger than the one I stayed in with Nina and Yuna.
As we entered I saw all the other girls getting along so well, meanwhile I was just alone with no one to talk to. It was awkward to say the least, did I really belong here?
"Honestly I can't believe Alaska made it." I hear Mako speak up as the girls turn around to look at me.
"Huh?" I questioned with a puzzled face.
"I mean, you still sort of cheated with the way you stole my mentor for most of the time." Mako explained. "Personally I believe Rima deserved that spot."
Am I hearing things? Did she really just say that?
"Mako, you don't have to say that." Miihi sighed. "It is what it is."
"No, it's not fair that Rima trained with us and was supposed to debut with us but instead a foreigner took her place." Mako spat. "I can't believe I took the time to— to teach you how to be confident!"
"And I can't believe I have to spend every last second in this dorm with you." I spat with a tear running down my eye slowly, I turn to a random room and slam the door.
I didn't like this at all, Mako was going back to her old self. I thought we were beginning to become friends and she pulls this?
I unpack my things and lay on my bed to think more, it was only 6 minutes into my thinking where I heard a knock.
"Alaska?" A head poked in, it was Miihi.
"What do you want?" I sighed as I sat up and faced her.
"Listen.." Miihi closed the door behind her. "Don't mind Mako, she's honestly still upset Rima didn't make it. We all wanted to debut together but it was bad she pinned all of this on you."
"You don't think I wanted to debut with Nina and Yuna?" I scoffed. "They were the only friends I truly felt comfortable and happy with. I lost both of them, you both still have each other."
Miihi nods her head as she listened. "I'm sorry you couldn't debut with your friends."
"I don't understand why everyone seems to hate me, we all have the same dream and I didn't tell or convince JYP to add me into the debut line up. If she needs to blame someone then she should blame JYP." I replied as I ran my hands through my hair.
"I'll try to talk to her, and also no one hates you... They just haven't talked to you since you've always hung out with your friends instead of trying to befriend us." Miihi said before leaving my room.
Wow, is she trying to play mind tricks with me? I don't feel comfortable in this new environment but I have to deal with it, it's too late to back out.
• • •
I was once again at the same convenience store, I ignored calls and texts from Felix because I wanted to be alone. Actually, I didn't want to be alone since I hate the thought of being alone but I had no energy to even talk.
I felt empty.
Where was Nina and Yuna? They both moved out of the previous dorm as well and went back to their original homes. I miss them.
"Hey." I hear Felix's voice next to me.
"Not you." I sighed not glancing at him at all as I kept my head in my arms.
"What's that suppose to mean." Felix gasped. "Did I do something wrong?"
"No." I sighed. "I just want to be alone."
"You can tell me what's going on... Remember?" Felix said as he rubbed my back in support.
"I just have a lot of thoughts." I replied still not looking at him.
"A kiss for your thoughts?" He replies with a chuckle.
I look up at him with a glare. "Thats bribery."
"But it does sound intriguing." Felix wiggles his eyebrows with a laugh. "No but seriously, I don't want you to have a hard time."
"I just—" I started. "I thought I would be happy with getting this chance to debut and be who I've wanted to be, but could I ever live up to the expectations of an idol? I mean I feel like everyone at the dorms hates me because of Mako."
"What did she do?" Felix furrows his eyes.
"She blames me for Rima not being apart of the debut line up." I sighed as I ran my fingers through my hair. "Even after everything."
"But JYP was the one who picked the line up..." Felix trailed off. "But let's change the subject."
"Why?" I questioned as I look at him.
"Because I wanted to tell you how proud I am of you, I told you that you would make it. You are capable." He smiled brightly.
"Stop it!" My cheeks flushed as I lay my head into his chest with a small smile.
I missed being in his arms.
"Now let's go back to my dorms and go to sleep, Chan already said you can stay." Felix smiled.
