The Audition || Felix FF || Stray Kids ✔

35

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝑵𝒖𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓 35
I want to protect us.

It's been 5 weeks now, I didn't know what I was going to do. Still no texts or calls from Felix... And I still kept texting and calling him.

Is he mad at me?

I don't feel happy anymore to be honest, but I should be. I mean I debut in about 5 more weeks since we're in the process of recording our songs and dances but I still feel empty. I'm not living anymore I'm just alive.

Is this what I'm supposed to feel?

I can't back out anymore, this was serious.

We had to sign the contract in a week as well... I'm going to sign my life away now.

I should be happy, I need to act happy because everyone else looks happy so I should be happy as well.

Some members lost a lot of weight including me, it's kind of scary to be in our position. We get in trouble if we eat too much or don't work out, but its the life we signed up for.

I couldn't even text Nina and Yuna anymore because of how busy I've become, but I did hear that they are training in Pnation now. I'm so happy for them and I hope I'll get to see them soon.

"Alaska, don't move your leg this way." The dance teacher instructed as she came over to me and moved my leg. "Have you even worked out? Your leg keeps shaking it needs stability so it moves the right way."

"If I move my leg like that it hurts." I whine as I held my leg.

"You need to work out more, your other members can do it. You need to do this before you debut remember." She says and leaves my side as the members look at me.

I looked down in disappointment, I should've done better. I work out 4 hours every day and its not enough. I'm not good enough and I won't be anytime soon.

We practiced more until the teacher yelled at me again but this time someone came into the room.

"Stop yelling at her, you see she is trying and can do the other moves well. Give her more time, she can't absorb all the information if half the time you're yelling at her!" A deep voice roared.

The room became quiet as I turn around and see Felix who had a glare shot at the teacher.

"Felix, you need to get out now it's not your debut." The teacher argued back. "I will tell JYP this."

"Go tell him, I don't care but your teaching methods are the reason why some idols have trouble learning the dance. Don't yell at them, explain to them." Felix raised his eyebrow at her before turning to look at me and closed the door.

I turn back to the teacher and bowed immediately, would I get in trouble for this?

"Alaska, take a break today." The teacher instructed not even sparing a glance at me.

"I'm sorry about that." I say before leaving the room and running down the halls trying to catch up with Felix.

When I caught up to him I pushed him to the wall.

"You're a prick!" I shouted not caring if anyone heard us.

"A what?" Felix scoffed as he turned to me. "Get back to class."

"No, you don't get to act all confused." I spat. "I texted you god knows how many times but no answer. I thought we both cared for each other but you don't. You only come when you feel like it."

"You stand up to me but you can't even stand up for yourself in dance class?" Felix argued back looking into my eyes. "What the hell happened to you?"

"You. You happened to me." I felt tears threatening to spill out. "You won't even tell me the reason why you haven't texted back, 6 weeks Felix! 6 weeks not knowing about you!"

"Come in here before you cause attention." Felix growled as he pulled me into a closet.

"I hate that without you I feel a little bit more empty, you either stay in my life or not." I tell him. "I can do better than you."

"Do better?" Felix scoffed and smirked at me. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I don't have to have feelings for you anymore, I can cut you out of my life whenever I want to." I threaten.

"You want to do that?" Felix asked as he inched closer to me pinning me to the wall.

"What's wrong with you? You used to be so much nicer and caring—"

"I have to protect our careers, if you don't want to then I will." Felix explains with a sigh as he looks down. "You need to debut and I don't want to mess with that."

"You are though, I like you Felix. I really like you and I've spent so much time with you that even this many weeks without you makes me feel empty." I reply as I cupped his cheeks. "We will be more careful now, okay?"

Felix takes a step back as he shook his head, it was a constant war in his head since he likes to think a lot before doing anything.

"You are full of adventures." He looked at me with a small smile before pressing his lips onto mines.