Get You Down

Chapter 10-Cookies

Jake's POV
"It meant nothing to you?" She asked. I had two options: tell her I love her and risk causing trouble between them and between my twin and I, or lie to her and cut everything off here only hurting myself. I chose the latter knowing that was the right choice regardless of the pain I'd feel.

"....yes, it was just a kiss.." I lied, and felt the weakness in my voice. I steadied myself before continuing, "it meant nothing to me. I'm sorry for making you feel otherwise." Ouch. Her mouth fell open, but she didn't respond. She just stared at me, and I tried to hold it together as my heart broke silently. She walked away without a word, and I knew I had hurt her, too. Maybe she did still have feelings for me...

"Can I put you down now, Jakey?" Danny asked, and I noticed his arm muscles shaking with strain.

"Yeah, I'm good.." I said as calmly as I could. As soon as my feet touched the ground, I brushed off my clothes and hurried out of the room. Once I was in the hallway, I broke into a jog hoping to get as far away as I could before the tears came.

I ran to the garage, and threw myself onto the couch as the tears started rolling down my cheeks. I knew this would hurt me, closing that door with Opie, but I didn't realize it would hurt her, too. I'm forever the asshole, and I hated myself for it right now.

The door creaked open, and Sammy and Danny peaked in. "Can we join you?" Sammy asked gently.

I sat up to make room on the couch as they made their way in. They sat on either side of me and forced me into a hug. I groaned audibly.

"Are you okay, Jake?" Danny asked with a hand still on my shoulder. He really is the dad of the band, and that thought made me chuckle.

"Not really," I said before smiling weakly.

"Wanna talk about it?" Danny asked softly already knowing the answer.

"Not really," I repeated as I let my head fall into my hands.

"Wanna drink?" Sammy asked in a chipper tone as he grabbed a bottle of Dad's Jack Daniel's from the fridge. I just held out my hand, and Sammy handed me the bottle. I opened it, and turned it up, chugging as much as I could before needing to burp.

"Okayyyy then," Danny said as he took it from me. He passed me an acoustic guitar before grabbing one for himself. I always felt better with an instrument in my hands. We started strumming and found a riff together that we played with for a while. Sammy was busy rolling a joint and sparking it. I stopped playing long enough to take a few hits and pass it to Danny. I coughed a few times since I don't smoke as often as them, but held it together pretty well considering.

Once I was stoned, Danny asked, "Wanna talk about it now?"

I shrugged, unsure of how to even explain it all. Finally I said, "I just want her to be happy.."

Sammy said, "Do you think she'd be happier with you?"

"She seems happy with Josh," I replied.

"Yes, but do you think she'd be happier with you?" Sammy repeated.

I felt tears stinging my eyes again. "I don't know, Sammy! I already told her how I felt, and she chose him! What am I supposed to do with that? Keep pining after her hoping she breaks my brother's heart?" I was practically yelling by now. I hung my head and let the tears fall. "I don't think that's fair to any of us.." I added through sniffs.

Danny hugged me, and said, "Jake, why did you tell her it meant nothing if you have these feelings for her?"

"I-I thought if I hurt her a little now, it would hurt less in the end...and at least Josh would be there for her right now. She'll be happier this way.." I said sure of myself.