Get You Down

Chapter 19-I Am Yours

Josh and I sat together on the edge of his bed, both scared to be the one to talk first. He was looking down at his hands that were fidgeting in his lap. I felt my anxiety rising the longer we sat in the quiet room.

"I didn't kiss that girl, just so you know," he finally said softly as he kept watching his fingers twitching in his lap. All anger had vanished from his voice, and he just sounded sad and defeated in a way that made my heart ache. "She kissed me, and I stopped her...but Jake must have only seen the kiss, and not the conversation afterwards where I explained how in love I am with you," he finished as he glanced my direction. I looked up at him, and could see tears forming. I wanted to wrap my arms around him, but fought the urge so we could finish the conversation. "I understand if you don't believe me or trust me.." he softly said as he looked back down at his hands. I could feel my heart breaking for him. I hadn't trusted him, but he had never given me a reason not to. Instead of listening to him last night, I allowed myself to think the worst of him and sent myself into an unnecessary breakdown.

I couldn't think of how to fix it, so I laid my head on his shoulder and sighed. The whole situation is messed up. I was mad at myself for even thinking he'd do something like that, and even more mad at myself for drinking and asking Jake to come over. That did nothing but make the stress between us worse. After gathering my thoughts, I finally spoke. "I know, babe.." I whispered just loud enough for him to hear. I closed my eyes tightly and continued after a deep breath, "I didn't fuck Jake, either...I mean I may have tried to kiss him, but I don't remember doing it, and he says he stopped me. I believe him...plus I drank A LOT before I even asked him to come over...I just didn't want to be alone, but I guess I puked everywhere at some point and Jake had to babysit me while I showered and slept it off," I finished as he put an arm around my shoulder. "I'm sorry for not letting you explain last night, that was childish of me," I apologized as I reached up to the hand resting at my shoulder and intertwined our fingers. He gave my hand a gentle squeeze in reassurance.

He softly kissed the top of my head, and whispered, "I'm sorry for assuming the worst with you and Jake, and I'm sorry for making the accusation...and I'm extra sorry for the hateful way that I did it...that wasn't fair or appropriate."

"Yeah, not very peaceful army of you," I mumbled as a joke that I didn't expect him to hear. I lifted my head and noticed his eyebrows were raised and his mouth was working on a smile. I grinned but didn't elaborate or repeat my statement. He either heard it or he didn't, I decided. He kept his eyes locked on me making me blush. I leaned forward and kissed his lips gently. "It's okay," I sighed. "We both messed up, and we both incorrectly assumed terrible things about the other...I'm willing to count this as a learning experience and a sign that our communication skills could be better," I said with a smile that I flashed his direction. He graciously nodded and smiled back.

"I would love that, Ophelia. Thank you..." he said as he squeezed me into him tighter. I think both of our hearts were tender from the ordeal, but in this moment I felt whole and content knowing we were not giving up.

After a few moments of silence, Josh let out a low chuckle, causing me to turn and look up at him with confusion. "What's so funny, babe?" I asked with a giggle hoping to be in on the joke.

"Promise you won't get mad if I tell you?" He replied with a wide grin.

I shook my head, and said, "just tell me," with an exaggerated eye roll.

"Well....I was just thinking that this was our first real fight.." he began.

"And that's funny?" I asked incredulously while fighting back the genuine laughter bubbling within me.

He shook his head and smiled as he continued his thought, "which means this is our first opportunity for makeup sex..." The mischievous look on his face sent a burning heat through my whole body that was not at all unpleasant.