Jennie
Every expel of oxygen felt like a burn to my lungs, as I lay here, panting unbearably. Tearing out from under the duvet, I ran quick towards the bathroom. My chest felt like it could explode any second, my hands quivering as I switched the lights on and swung the cabinet open, reaching for the pills in a frenzy.
Not even bothering to get water, I swallowed them down dry. I slammed the cabinet close, coming face to face with my reflection in the mirror. For starters, I looked like hell.
"Remember to take deep breaths", I recalled the shrink's voice.
"1, 2, 3...In, then out." I steadied myself, laying my hands out on the sink for support as I chanted the mantra in my head. It took a few minutes, before I finally regained control of my mind and body.
As I caught a glimpse of my reflection once again, I couldn't help but let my fingers wander over to my neck. Only eight prints of long fingers was all that was left; but to me, it was as if there was a ghost of a chokehold haunting me ever since that day.
Take deep breaths. In, then out. Deciding to head back to bed, I turned off the lights.I was careful to not make any more noise as I tiptoed my way back to bed.For once I was glad that my roommate was passed out blind after a night of heavy partying and God knows what.
My body slumped down on the mattress, pressing my fingers against my chest, feeling the accelerated beating for a moment. I buried my face in my hands, letting everything sink in.
It felt so real. It was the first time I'd dreamt of my mum in quite a few years. Years of intensive therapy had helped to lock those memories away, but now, they were back to haunt me.
First the panic attack, now the nightmares...Things I had not even thought of, or felt in almost a decade were now suddenly being pushed up into my consciousness.
Why now?
It unnerved me to a whole other degree, even thinking about it. But the more my brain tried to connect the dots, the clearer one thing gradually became to me.
It all began after the assignment.
My alarm went off all of a sudden, indicating that it was the beginning of yet another day.
I collapsed onto the bed.
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KILL THIS LOVE | JENLISA
FanfictionAn adaptation/conversion Lisa GP * This story contains content that might be troubling to some readers, including, but not limited to, depictions of and references to death, murder, gore, suicide, self-harm, vivid nightmare imagery, substance abuse...
