KILL THIS LOVE | JENLISA

Chapter 106

Jennie

First, an achromatic recollection of the woman I'd fearfully call mother, lying motionless on the kitchen floor invaded my mind. Albeit, the focus of the image wasn't the woman herself, but the little hypodermic needle sticking out of her arm. Then came the grim memory of my sister; thick, crimson blood trickling out of her ears, staining her dirty white pillow with the godforsaken hue as her lifeless baby blue eyes remained fixated onto the ceiling.

And last, there were the sordid images of a certain nine year old girl, half-dead as I was being rushed into the E.R, everything around me in a multi-chromatic haze. All the life left in me, was slowly but surely oozing out of my body, the copious amounts of heroin in my bloodstream slowly shutting down my senses.But my lips remained quirked up into a smile.

"Whatever, I got to go." Mino's voice broke the little daze I had fallen into. I blinked, suddenly back to the present predicament. I wordlessly watched him leave, my head still reeling. Catching my breath, I entered my room.

Nancy was laying on her stomach on her own bed, reading a magazine, dangling her long, tan legs in the air. She whipped around having heard the door. Even though she was now completely dressed, I was having a hard time picturing anything but the scene I'd stumbled up on a few minutes ago.

I had assumed Nancy would be pretty riled up having been interrupted, but her face remained passive, and she turned her attention back to her magazine again. But then, I was practically seeing red. "What the hell was that!?"

It was then that Nancy sat up straight, putting the magazine to the side as she faced me with sarcasm written all over her face. "Two consenting adults engaging in the act of sex. Oh I'm sorry, does that offend your ears? Should I say S-E-X?"

I rolled my eyes at the snide jab, "He's my best friend Nancy. Can you really not control yourself around one guy? Do you have to sleep with everything that walks?" The look of ridicule and amusement that had been plastered on Nancy's face dissipated almost immediately. "What is that supposed to mean?" She asked unsmiling, her tone suddenly pressed.

"I'm not in the mood for this, I'm going to take a bath." I dismissed it, taking a step towards the bathroom. But Nancy was on my toes in a millisecond, blocking my way. "No, let's finish this right now." She hissed, her dark eyes glaring down at me as she crossed her arms.

I shook my head in vexation, flailing my hands in the air, "Like you don't know what I'm talking about. You are constantly out dressed like a stripper, Nancy. You only stumble back here in the middle of the night, hammered out of your mind. But I never say anything."

"Never say anything?" Nancy scowled,"You don't think I know how you look at my clothes? You don't think I don't see you shooting those holier-than-thou looks at me when I'm going out?" She took a step towards me in pure rage, jabbing a finger in the air, as I took one back.

"You know what, it's my life and it's my body. If I want to dress like a stripper, I have every right to do so. But who the fuck are you to say I sleep around because of what I wear? And even if Idid, it's none of your goddamn business."

I blinked quietly, daunted by Nancy's words. I wanted to say something back, but I realized I didn't have anything.

"Who do the fuck do you think you are? Just because you don't have the confidence to wear a crop top, does not mean you get to slut shame me." Nancy was seething, her voice was quivering, but filled with disdain.

I gulped slowly, "Nancy, I... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."

"Save it. I know your type. I've dealt with them all my life. You think you're so special and not-like-other-girls because you're stuck up and you wear clothes that are two sizes too big for you."It was then that Nancy's voice finally gained a ring of stability, indicating that she wanted me to feel the cold intent behind every word of what she said.

"But guess what Jennie Kim? You're nothing but a slut-shaming, judgemental bitch." With that, she stepped out of my way, walking straight out of the door, slamming it behind her. The heavy exhale that left my chest was ridden with pure guilt. I couldn't help but pinch the bridge of my nose. I wanted to scream at Nancy, tell her she was wrong about me.

But she wasn't.

With that thought running circles in my mind, I walked into the bathroom quietly.