KILL THIS LOVE | JENLISA

Chapter 60

Jennie

As I looked up in the mirror, a heavy exhale left my mouth. This night was a mistake. I would have been much better by myself at the dorm, finishing up on school work or perhaps watching some movie. Anything, but this. I shook my head.

But just as I turned to leave, suddenly I missed a step, almost falling on my face. I grabbed hold of the door knob to steady myself. My head, all of a sudden as if, started producing an ear piercing ringing sound. I brought my fingers to the temples. It couldn't be the alcohol, could it?

It was only a sip, a generous sip yes, but not enough to get anyone possibly disoriented. Not this quickly too, it simply wasn't possible. Steadying myself, I exited the bathroom quickly. The music was louder than ever, with so many people screaming along with the lyrics adding to the noise. It was as if the bass was pounding in my brain.

Mino... I need to find Mino.

With every step I took, my head started spinning a little more. Someone passed by me, brushing their shoulders with mine rather roughly, making me lose my balance a little. I felt sick. I felt a familiar bone chilling feeling of anxiety starting to cave down my chest. My breathing became heavier. Air, air, my mind pleaded to me. In an automatic manner, I began pushing through the strenuous crowd, trying to find my way out.

I had to get out. I had to. But there I saw it, in the midst of my hazing vision, I saw the door. I rushed to it, jiggling the handle till it turned, opening the door with force. I stepped outside, holding the door for support with head hung and my palms clamped down by my knees as I inhaled the fresh air with unease.

'Remember to take deep breaths; '1, 2, 3. In, then out.'

I repeated the chant that had gotten me by all these years, feeling the angst subduing from my body, little by little. With a last deep breath, I opened my eyes, straightening my back and composing myself.

My head still continued to throb, my mind full of obscure thoughts. But if there was one thing that I knew for sure, it was that there was no way in hell that I was going back to the party.

I glanced behind my shoulder once, why, I didn't know. It was then that my eyes finally landed on the sight right in front of me, the steel gate coming into the vicinity of my view. I continued to observe it wordlessly for a minute or two.

It wasn't the gate itself that had suddenly piqued my interest though, it was what was behind it. My fingers instinctually brushed over my jeans' pocket, feeling the outline of a certain stern object through the fabric.

Something was drawing me to that. Beckoning me to do things only the craziest of the crazy would do...

Could I blame it on a single sip of alcohol?

But who cared. I was gone.

My mind was reckless. My thoughts were mingled up, distorted. And they were taking over my body.

My legs worked on their own accord, as I started to walk.

My state was that of confusion, but even then, a part of me knew exactly where I was headed to.

Even inebriated, I was striding straight into the arms of doom.

And I loved every second of it.