KILL THIS LOVE | JENLISA

Chapter 81

Jennie

I almost fell down to my knees. The air passageway to my lungs felt constricted, as if something heavy was coiling its way around it. It was building up to another panic attack, I knew. I needed to be in my dorm as soon as possible, to take my pills.

Almost immediately as I got out, I decided to call myself a cab instead of walking my way back. I couldn't. The entire ride was excruciating, with the cab driver insisting on making small talk with me, while I was quite on the verge of a breakdown.

As soon as I made it to my room, I jammed my keys in the lock offhandedly, struggling to get it open. My pulse was thumping like a jackhammer. With the fourth attempt, I successfully unlocked the door, practically sprinting to the bathroom.

I grabbed the bottle, shaking the medicine out into my palms and washing it down with a glassful of water. My hand went to my temples, fingers rubbing the surface to soothe the little migraine I felt was coming my way. On the brighter side of things, at least I wasn't lying in some ditch unconscious.

I placed the bottle back in its place in the cabinet, closing it shut, coming face to face with my reflection. A sweet-sounding laughter rang in my head, from the deep depth of my buried memories, as I looked into my own eyes. The amber in my irises transformed into a soft shade of baby blue.

My hair wasn't curly and blonde coloured anymore, but a warm toned chocolate. Suddenly I wasn't looking at myself, but at my beautiful baby sister.

"Get out, I need to pee."

My little reverie was disintegrated with the strident sound of my roommate's piercing voice coming in from outside. I quickly splashed some water on my face, catching my breath. I swung the door open, only to see Nancy standing there with an annoyed look plastered on her face.

"Fucking finally, I almost did it in a Pepsi can."

I simply ignored her jibe, like I'd learnt to do in the year and a half of living with her.

"Oh, and there's a package for you on your bed. What did your imaginary boyfriend send you, tickets to the nerd convention?" Nancy simpered like a fox.

A package? But I had not ordered anything. I went to my bed, and there it was, a little larger than medium sized box. It was covered in a blush toned, gingham patterned gift wrapping paper. Ribbons and all. Who'd send me a gift? I undid the bow first, still perplexed beyond words.

Maybe it's Hanbin, the thought made me smile dreamily, my cheeks heating up. I tore the packaging to reveal a plain brown cardboard box, taped close. Stretching to grab the paper cutter from my bedside desk, I cut open the box at last.

There are moments in life, when time seems to slow down. It has nothing to do with middle school physics and its concepts about motion and retardation. It's perhaps, entirely dependent on the gravity of the situation.

Before I could even take in the contents of the box fully, I heard an ear piercing scream that sounded like it came from Nancy.

That's when I saw it.

A blood-covered body of a small animal, it seemed, it's light fur drenched in crimson, and it's mouth parted open.

But then perhaps, in this case it wasn't the brutally slaughtered cat that made time stop.

It was the little note placed on top of the poor animal's side, covered in plastic.

And even though it was all bloodied up, it was just legible enough for me to be able to make out the words from underneath it all.

Aren't you glad you chose dogs, Ruby Jane?