It's Forbidden

What Does That Tell You

The words ring in head ears like a bell. Her jaw drops. It takes her a moment to comprehend what he had just said. She thought she was hearing things at first. And then she realizes she wasn't. She was so confused. And hurt. Her heart felt heavy. She felt like she couldn't breath. Tears filled her eyes and she met Steve's eyes. "I-" she started. But she didn't know what to say. What do you say when your brother tells you that your whole life is a lie and that you're adopted. "W-what?" She asks. Her voice shaky, her whole body shaky really.

Steve shakes his head. Taking a deep breath. Looking down. As if he was trying to collect himself. Take a moment. But Aspen thought, as she saw him do this, why does he look like that? Why does he look like this is hard for him? After he shouted in her face that she was adopted. And he said it so easily. After he lied to her for only god knows how long. Why did he look like it was actually hard for him after everything he had said and done. And this wasn't even the end of it. This was only the beginning.

Tears ran down Aspen's cheeks as she looked at Steve. She waited for him to say or do something. He continued to look at the ground. Not looking at her as he continued to speak. Not looking at her. Which infuriated her even more. "You're adopted Aspen." Steve said calmly. Which made her even more mad, even more upset. Because why could he have not told her as calmly as that in the first place? Why did this have to be the way that he told her? Why couldn't it be different. She had so many questions. She was on fire with rage and her skin was burning from the anxiety.

"I...I don't understand." Aspen said. The tears falling down her cheeks more now. Like a river. She hated that she was crying, showing Steve she was weak, but she couldn't help it. She couldn't help but cry and in this moment all she wanted was Bucky. She wanted him to hold her and tell her everything was going to be okay. She wanted to cry into him and hold him right. She wanted to feel safe in his arms like she always did. She needed that right now, but she couldn't have it. Which made everything so much worse.

"Mom told me." Steve tells her. "Before she died." He adds. Needing Aspen to know exactly when this conversation happened because he knew she was going to ask him anyway. So he figured he would just tell her. Aspen wondered why, why it had took him so long to tell her. Why now? Why was it coming out now? And what the hell did it have to do with why Steve told her she couldn't date Bucky? Her brain was churning at a hundred miles per hour. She felt light headed. As if she was going to pass out.

"And you didn't tell me?" Aspen asks him. Her voice breaking and shaking with angry. She wiped her tears hating them for falling from her eyes. She hated them. "She didn't tell me?" She asked him. She couldn't wrap her head around it. She thought there was no way. There was no way she could have been adopted and was just now being told about it. There was no way. She shook her head, Steve still wouldn't look at her. She couldn't believe it. She didn't believe it. She didn't want to believe it.

"I don't believe you." She tells Steve. Steve understood why she didn't believe him. But it was true. She was adopted. And if she needed him to explain it to her, he would. "She told me not to tell you." Steve told Aspen. "You were sixteen when she died." He said. It started to make since why he didn't tell her when he first found out. But he had so many years after that to tell her, before hydra, after hydra, but he chose not to. There was no reason for him to continue to have his it from her all those years. She was still in disbelief.

"You were still grieving her death..." Steve told her. "She told me never to tell you." Steve said. Aspen felt more tears spilling from her eyes. Even though Steve wasn't looking at her, he knew she was crying. And it made his eyes water. He felt for Aspen. He hated he had to tell her like this. But it happened. He knew it was his fault. It never should have gotten this far. But there was no turning back now. It was happening. He had to explain it to her. He owed her that much.

"because she said she never thought of you as adopted. You were her daughter. She raised you, and that's all that mattered." Steve told Aspen. And Aspen cried. She knew. She knew in her heart Steve was telling the truth. She was adopted. But she was still so confused. What did her being adopted have to do with anything? And then it hit her. And she started sobbing. Covering her face with her hands. She soaked in the thoughts running through her mind and took a deep breath.

She took a moment and collected herself. She removed her hands from her face. Wiped her tears. Looked back up at Steve and took another deep breath in, then out. "Who..." she started. Then had to clear her throat, trying not to cry. "Who are my parents?" She asked. "My birth parents?" She clarified. "and what does me being adopted Have to do with why..." her voice broke, she already knew what he would say, or she thought she did, and she felt disgusted. Her body shook still and she felt the urge to throw up. But she couldn't believe it. There was no way. "why I can't love Bucky..." she asked. Tears falling down her cheeks.

Steve looked at Aspen. For the first time since he told her she was adopted, he met her eyes. He saw the pain in her eyes. The hurt. And he looked back down. Not being able to control his emotions. Tears threatening his eyes. Because no matter how much they fought, Aspen was still his sister, blood or not, and he felt like shit in this moment. As he should. He didn't say a word. He just looked down at the ground.

Aspen slammed her hand against the door, get up, angry, hurt. She took a deep breath trying to calm herself down before she spoke again. Not wanting to yell. Not wanting to escalate the situation, even though she has no idea how it could possibly get any worse. But she realized every time she questioned how something could get worse, it ended up getting worse. She internally cursed herself for even thinking it, knowing it would worsen before it was over. She also wondered when would this fight end. Would it ever end. Would she ever be happy. Because every time she found herself happy...her happiness got ripped away from her almost instantly.

"Steve..." she whispered. He still didn't meet her eyes. "Who are my birth parents?" She asked again. "I don't know." Steve told her, still looking down. "All I know is..." he started. "After mom told me," he said. "She told me to bring you around Bucky and I." He told Aspen. Her breath hitched. She felt as if her lungs were being crushed. Her mind raced. She believed she was adopted but there was no way what Steve was trying to tell her could be true. "she told me to make sure you got to know him, become friends with him." He told her. "but not to let you date him, sleep with him...anything." He said to Aspen. "So what does that tell you?" He asks. Still not looking at her...