It's Forbidden

Morals

After getting all of the joking out of the way, Aspen knew that Natasha would want to bring up the more serious aspect of her current situation. And she didn't know wether or not to tell Nat. She knew that Nat was Tony's friend before she was Aspen's. And she knew, realistically, if there was a situation where Nat had to chose sides, she would chose Tony's.

She didn't want to lose her best friend, but she needed to talk about it, she needed to know what to do. Bucky's answer was don't tell anyone and it'll all be okay. He wanted to protect Aspen. That's all he cared about. And Aspen wanted to protect Bucky, but they're morals were starting to get in the way, neither of them liked hiding this.

Bucky knew Aspen couldn't hold onto something like this by herself. He thought it was fine for him when he had to hide it himself, but now that Aspen had weight on her shoulders, he didn't like it at all. He knew she was stressed and upset and had no idea what to do. He knew she was having an internal battle about the situation.

But he thought if Tony knew, their lives would be made hell, again. And the last thing he wanted was to see Aspen in any kind of pain or distress. Aspen knew this, but she needed an outsider's point of view, and she would have gone to Steve, but she was worried of what he might say.

Things had just gotten okay again with Steve and she didn't want to tell him this and ruin it. She missed her brother and the only thing she wanted to do was have a normal relationship with him, like they did before their mom died, before the army, before Hydra. So she couldn't ask for Steve's advice on it, she needed to ask Nat.

She didn't want to lose the friendship but she needed to know what she should do. Telling Tony would hurt him, not telling him was wrong, but it kept him from hurting. So she didn't know which one to do. And she loved Bucky, but he loved her too, so his opinion was biased, because the only thing he was interested in was making sure Aspen was okay. Which she loved. She loved how he loved her and protected her, but sometimes she needed an honest answer.

"So how is Tony handling it?" Natasha asks Aspen. Aspen shakes her head and shrugs. She hadn't clearly decided yet wether or not to tell Nat, she was still thinking, so she tried to hide her worry for a moment. "Good I guess." Aspen says. She wanted to tell Nat, but she was still going back and forth for many reasons. And she didn't want to jeopardize Bucky either. As he protected her, she would protect him.

But Natasha knew Aspen. She read it on her face. She knew something was wrong like she knew every time with Aspen when something was wrong. Aspen had tells. And Natasha, not only being her best friend, was also a trained assassin, and she figured out Aspen's tells quickly. "Then what's wrong?" Nat asks Aspen.

Aspen cursed herself for giving herself away. She didn't want to lie and hide it though. But Bucky. And what if Natasha told Tony and Bucky had no warning. She wanted to protect the man she loved but Tony was family and she didn't want to lie to him either. And she didn't want to lie to her best friend. She felt like she was being torn in a thousand different directions.

"What? Nothing." Aspen said. "I know that face." Natasha told her. And Aspen knew she wasn't getting out of this. Nat knew her too well. "What's wrong?" Natasha asked again. She was going to be persistent. She wanted Aspen to know she could tell her anything. She would be loyal to her. She was her best friend, it was a two way street though, Aspen had to trust her.

But due to her past, much like the rest of the team, trust was nearly impossible to come by. It was like a forbidden fruit. They could each count on one hand who they trusted, and in light of recent situations, the only person on Aspen's list, was Bucky. She had trusted Steve before, but for so long he had hid the biggest secret from her and she felt that trust needed to be earned back, not just given. She was afraid it would be broken again.

Aspen made a decision to tell Natasha. She wanted to believe she could put her trust in her. She prayed she could. "Bucky and i..." Aspen started, she already felt strings in her heart pulling, one person on her mind. Bucky. Her Bucky. She needed to make it known they weren't in control, it wasn't their fault, she needed to protect him at all costs.

"When we were under Hydra'd control..." She continued. Nat could see the hesitation and pain in Aspen's eyes, she wanted her to know that it was okay to tell her. "Aspen you can tell me whatever it is." Nat tells her. Aspen needed insurance. She couldn't tell Nat and not know what she would do with the information she was given.

"You can't tell anyone Natasha." Aspen tells her. Nat knew it was serious because she only called her Natasha in serious situations. To get her point across. So Nat knew the severity of the situation. "I won't. I promise." Nat promises her. Aspen was still unsure. "Everything just go okay. This will ruin everything." Aspen tells her.

She was nearly in tears. Aspen was scared. She was so scared. She had been broken, time and time again. Everything had gone wrong for her, time and time again. She had been betrayed, lied to, deceived, beaten, experimented on, tortured. She had been broken, she was trying to build herself back up again and she couldn't do it again. Every time she got okay, she would just break again. She didn't want to be broken anymore.

"Okay, I get it Ms. Dramatic. Tell me." Natasha says. She wasn't trying to be rude or take the severity of the situation lightly, she was trying to lighten the mood so Aspen would feel more comfortable telling her. "When Bucky and I were under Hydra's control..." Aspen started again. "They made us kill Tony's parents." Aspen said.

She knew there was no sugar coating. She had to rip off the bandage. She had to get it over with. "Tony's parents died in a car crash." Natasha states, but she was confused. "We ran them off the road...and they were still alive." Aspen says, crying at this point. "So we...we strangled them to death." Aspen tells Nat. She looked down at her hands, she was ashamed.

"Aspen you said you were under Hydra's control. It wasn't you." Natasha tells her. "I killed my brother." Aspen says, tears sliding down her cheeks. "No you didn't. Don'y tell anyone else this. Keep it to yourself. Tony doesn't need to know." Nat tells her. But Aspen didn't know if she could do that.