It's Forbidden

More Than You Know

Bucky was trapped. He was surrounded by a glass prison. He was strapped down with reinforced steel handcuffs on his wrists. He had metal across his chest, over his shoulders, around his waist, his ankles. His entire body was trapped in metal. To restrain down. To hold him. It wasn't the winter soldier. It was Bucky. And he was trapped. He was scared. Terrified. He went back to hydra. His mind did, to when they would strap him down, erase his mind, control him, torture him, experiment on him. But I'd wasn't hydra holding him down. It was Steve. It was the Avengers. He trusted Steve but he couldn't help but be terrified. He hadn't fully comprehended what was going on it's yet. Which made it worse. It made everything worse.

He was shaking. Sweating. His lip was quivering as he tried to keep himself calm. The one person he knew could keep him calm, wasn't in the room. Aspen. He always needed Aspen. She was being restrained in the next room. He wasn't only scared for himself he was scared for her. He needed her. And he knew she needed him. But she was unreachable. But he needed to get to her. So he tried to escape. He tried to break his metal arm free. But it didn't work. He called out for her. Over and over and over again. But he couldn't get to her.

She wasn't there.

*

Bucky jolted up in his sleep. He was sweating. His body covered. Dripping. And he was alone. He looked around the room. Aspen was no where in sight. His body is shaking. He feels the bed next to him, to make sure she's really not there and he wasn't just missing her because of how dark it was in the room. She wasn't there. His breathing starts to pick up. He was inhaling and exhaling rapidly. He starts to panic.

But then his eyes start to adjust to the darkness and he sees the bathroom light on. He realizes Aspen was still in the room. She wasn't gone. She was just in the bathroom. His breathing slowed slightly and the bathroom door opened. Aspen sees Bucky sitting up in bed looking towards the door. She had a glass in her hand filled with water. She knew right away that he had a nightmare. She felt a ping in her heart as she took in his features.

"I'm sorry I went to get water, are you okay?" Aspen asked him. "I need you Aspen." Bucky says. She hears his voice shaking and she sees his lip quivered slightly. Tears threatened to spill from his eyes but he tried to shake them away. She tries not to get emotional looking at him in this fragile state. She hated seeing him hurt like this.

She walked over to the bed and set the glass down on the nightstand. She sat next to Bucky on the bed, placing her hand on his cheek. "I'm right here with you." She whispers to him. He leans his head down, laying it on her chest. She wraps her arms around him and holds him against her. Rubbing his back. She kisses his temple and after a moment lays down with him. His head on her chest. She kept rubbing his back and holding him tight.

They laid like that for a while until Bucky sat up. He held himself up on his elbow as he looked at Aspen, the other hand was on her cheek. He smiled at her, laying back down over top of her and pressing his lips to hers. He held her face firmly in his hands as he kissed her. He kissed her over and over again. And she kissed him back. It was a sweet, passionate kiss. It wasn't erotic or sexual. He was showing her how he felt through their kiss, without actually saying it, because neither of them were ready to say it.

"I don't know what I would do without you." Bucky tells Aspen. She smiles, her eyes shining through the darkness of the room as she looks up into Bucky's steel blue eyes. His shining through the pitch black as well. He could see her smiling, he could make out her features. He went on. Because he needed Aspen to know, that he truly couldn't live without her.

He wouldn't be where he was without her. He would have given up. He probably wouldn't even be alive if it weren't for her, protecting him, being there for him. Always. No matter what she was there. "I need you Aspen." He whispers to her. He smiles at her. And her smile fades. And her eyes grow bigger. "I always have and I always will."  She smiles at him with her eyes. And she looks at him like he's the only person in the world. Like he's her world.

He smirks at her and shuffles down slightly, teasing her by getting closer to her core. He wouldn't be him if he didn't find some way to tease her, even when telling her something serious. They did that with one another. And they both found it so amusing and they loved it. "You're the only one who understands me." He tells her. She grabs his face and pulls him back up so they can lock eyes once again.

"I can't sleep without you." He tells her. He rarely every had nightmares when he was with her. He didn't think it was a coincidence that the moment she had left the bed, he ended up having a nightmare. And he was more convinced because the nightmare had been about how he couldn't get to her. It made since. Because she wasn't there with him.

He leans down and presses his lips to hers again. "I have nightmares without you." He whispers to her. Aspen places ned bands on both sides of his face. She looks deep into his steel blue eyes, the eyes that own her heart. "I need you to James." She whispers to him. "More than you know." She says.