It's Forbidden

She Means Everything To Me

Bucky was trying to do what Aspen had told him to. She told him to take a shower and take a nap. He did half of it. He took a shower. But he couldn't even think about taking a nap. There was no way he could sleep without her. Or sleep knowing she was laying open on an operating table while he was closing his eyes like it was nothing. He felt guilty even thinking about a nap, so he refused to even think of it. He knew she wanted him to get some rest, but he would rest when he knew she was okay.

But Bucky was exhausted. He had been up for three days straight because of the mission. He got himself black coffee and drank the cup quickly, getting himself another before going and sitting in the room outside of Bruce's lab. Where Steve and Tony were. Where they were waiting for Aspen to get out of surgery. Where they were waiting of Bruce to tell them that everything was going to be okay. Bucky walked in, he made eye contact with Steve and quickly looked away before the slight eye contact could be misinterpreted as something else.

He held his coffee in his hands as he sat down, the only empty seat being next to Steve. He would have rather stood but Aspen told him to play nice, this was him playing nice. So he sat down next to Steve. He took a deep breath, in and out, looking into his coffee. He felt Steve's eyes on him. He knew Steve was going to ask questions. He didn't want to answer. He didn't want to talk. His girl was open on an operating table, he felt like he was being torn apart. He just wanted to try and get through this.

But of course, Steve asked his questions. "Did she say anything to you?" Steve asked. Bucky wanted to turn around and hit him. He didn't ask, 'how was she?' 'Is she going to be okay?' or anything having to do with Aspen's current condition. He asked what he wanted to know. He was being selfish. He seemed as if he didn't even care about if Aspen was going to be okay, he only cared about what was going on with her biology. But Bucky knew deep down Steve did care. He had to take a deep breath and remind himself that before answering or hearing Steve's second question. "What happened?" He asked.

"She wants to tell you herself when she wakes up." Bucky told her. Because she did. It was a conversation they needed to have themselves. Not something Steve should hear from Bucky. Steve shakes his head and looks down. Bucky had been looking at Steve at that point and saw his eyes begin to water, his features change, as he looks down, Bucky can tell Steve is genuinely becoming upset. He feels bad for being so angry with him, despite all his recent actions. Bucky didn't want to stoop to his level or get even. That wasn't him.

"You know I was just trying to protect you both, right?" Steve asked. Bucky knew Steve was only doing what he thought was best. But there was a right way and a wrong way to do things. And he became angry because of the way Steve did decide to handle things. He couldn't hold it back. "Screaming in her face that she's adopted isn't protecting her." Bucky told Steve angrily. He needed Steve to know that the way he was handling things was completely wrong. There were other ways.

"It wasn't supposed to come out that way." Steve tells Bucky. And Bucky believed him. He knew he said things he didn't mean to when he was angry. Things came out wrong, they got heated. "I'm going to apologize to her." Steve adds. Steve knew he owed Aspen one hell of an apology. He felt terrible. But he didn't know what he was supposed to do. It already happened. The conversation was over with and all he could do now was try and make up for it. Try to make up for everything.

"It better be one hell of an apology." Bucky tells Steve. "Believe me. I know I screwed up. Bad." Steve told Bucky. "I love my sister. And all I want to do is protect her." Steve says. Bucky couldn't get one thing out of his head. He needed to know why Steve continued to withhold Aspen being adopted and him thinking they were related even after he suspected they were together. "If you thought we were related somehow, you should have told us the night we kissed." Bucky tells him.

"During truth or dare. You should have told us then if you had even suspected anything." Bucky says angrily. He knew Aspen didn't want the, to argue, but he needed to figure out why. He was apart of this too and he had a right to ask. This was him trying to prepare things with Steve, figure out why he said and did what he said and did so they could try and get past it.

"I know." Steve says. He knew he was wrong. He hated himself for it all. He just wanted to fix everything and have it all go back to the way it was. "But I was hoping that she would back off of you once I told her to." Steve tells Bucky. "You know we're together. That's a decision her and I made together. It takes two." Bucky tells Steve. "I would never hurt her Steve. You should know that." He tells him. Steve should know better. Bucky would rather die than say or do anything that would harm Aspen in any way possible.

"It wasn't because I didn't trust you." Steve tells Bucky. It was true. He never thought Bucky would hurt her. It was genuinely because he thought they were related. It had nothing to do with Bucky at all. Steve did trust him. More than anyone. "I know you won't hurt her." Steve told him. Bucky can't handle everything going on. With Aspen the way she was, his world was falling apart. He was falling apart. He was being suffocated.

He was anxious. He needed Steve to know he wouldn't do anything to hurt her. "You're my best friend. You should know I wouldn't hurt her." Bucky says again. Stressing that he would never hurt Aspen. "I know." Steve says. "Bucky I'm telling you, I would have accepted it and been okay with it if my mom didn't tell me what she did." Steve tells him. The truth.

"She means everything to me Steve." Bucky tells him. He needed Steve to know. He hadn't said it yet, he wanted to. He needed to tell her. He would when she woke up. He loved her more than anything. Steve knew. He wanted to soothe Bucky's mind, make him feel better because he knew this was all his fault. "She means everything to me too." He says.

"She is my sister" Steve tells Bucky. "Blood or not." Steve says. "I'll talk to her when she wakes up." Steve tells Bucky. Bucky nodded and looked back down at his coffee. He finished it off and they stayed silent until Bruce finally came out...