It's Forbidden

Pain

A/N: I don't normally put songs with these chapters on Wattpad, but listen to I hate you I love you by gnash ft Olivia o'brien while you're reading this. It completes the chapter. It really makes a difference. I also sobbed writing this...so yea. 

Steve continued to avoid eye contact with Aspen. Tears streamed down Aspen's cheeks. She refused to believe it. She didn't want to believe it. But she really didn't believe it. It didn't add up. There was no way she was Bucky's sister. She may be adopted, she believed that, that actually made her life make a bit more since, but she couldn't believe she was Bucky's sister. She wasn't. There was no way. And if she was...she didn't know what she would do. She felt sick to her stomach. She was in pain. She felt dizzy. She felt as if she was suffocating.

The room was closing in around her. Her vision went hazy for a moment. Her heart was beating rapidly. Her hands were sweaty, her whole body was shaking. In that moment, she wanted to die. It wasn't her first time feeling this way. This situation, if she was Bucky's sister, she didn't know how she could do it. As the thoughts ran through her mind, she feared she may be being dramatic, that was never the answer. But then she went back. She thought about her entire life. And there were points in her life, where if she didn't have Bucky, she wouldn't have made it.

She thought about everything she went through. Starting from the day she was born now. Her brith parents, whoever they were, gave her up. Her father, died when she was four. She grew up without a father. Both her and Steve did. But Steve could still remember their dad, she couldn't, because she was only four. She forgot everything about him, except his name, and his face. And the only reason she remembered his face, was form pictures. 

And after growing up without a father, her mother died when she was sixteen. When she needed her the most. And then she met Bucky. And everything seemed like it was going to be okay again. Until he was shipped out. And she was so scared for him. And then he was captured by hydra, and she felt empty and useless. But then Steve because a super soldier...and the opportunity came for her, and she took it. And things were looking up, Steve rescued Bucky, she had meaning in her life now, having missions and being able to help people, and she had Bucky.

And then the train happened. And she couldn't let him go alone. And they both survived...but they got captured by hydra. And her world fell apart. She had to watch Bucky suffer. She watched him in pain. And to her, that was worse than feeling her own. And somehow they made it through, even though she thought countless times about how she wanted to end it, she didn't, because of Bucky. And when they made it through, it was seventy years later. They were in a completely different world. But she still had Bucky. But then they had to go back under again.

She didn't know how to do it. But she had too. Because of Bucky. And now, Steve was there. But when they came back for good, it seemed like Steve hated Aspen, especially when it came to Bucky. But Bucky had saved her life so many times. He didn't even know about it, but he did. And she couldn't let him go. And she realized she loved him. And when Steve found out...he tells her, her entire life is a fucking lie. And her world comes crashing down. Because how do you go from telling someone you love them, wanting to spend the rest of your life with them, to not even being able to be associated with them anymore.

Everything came crashing down. 

She was in denial. She shook her head, crying, looking at Steve, begging him to tell her it was a lie. It couldn't be true. But he didn't. "No..." She cried. She wanted him to tell her it was all a sick joke. It couldn't be true. "That's not possible." She cries. "There's no way Steve." She says. She didn't know who she was trying to convince. She didn't know how to do this if it was true. She couldn't survive without him. She didn't want to. "She died. She's dead." Aspen says. Referring to Bucky's mom. Surely she couldn't have had Aspen, because she died. She was dead.

"She died when you were an infant." Steve told her. "And from what mom told me..." He continued. "You were adopted right after." He still didn't look at Aspen. It infuriated her. She didn't understand why he couldn't look her in the eyes. Surely he's lying, or else he would be able to look her in the eyes. Right? She shook her head. She was going through all the stages of grief. She refused. There was no way. He wasn't telling the truth. 

"You're lying." She told Steve angrily. "Aspen why would I lie?" Steve asks her. Because it didn't make since. Why would he lie? "You can't even look me in the eyes." Aspen points out to him. "You only do that when you're lying." She tells him. It was true. Ever since he was a kid, he could never look someone he loved in the eyes, and lie to them. Criminals on missions, he could lie too, but not his family, not people he cared about, people he was supposed to love. He couldn't lie to their faces. "You're lying because you don't want us together." Aspen says.

"How am I supposed to look my baby sister in the eyes..." Steve starts, his voice breaking. He clears his throat and sniffles. Aspen's heart ached. She didn't know what to believe. She was dying inside. "And tell her she's not really my sister." Steve says. Still not looking at Aspen. He couldn't bring himself too. He didn't want to see the pain in her eyes. He hated seeing her in pain. "That her whole life is a lie." He adds. A tear had fallen from his eye and was now streaming down his cheek.

Aspen didn't see the tear. She missed it. And if she had seen it...maybe the conversation would've ended differently. "Im going to Bruce." She told him. "And I'm going to get a DNA test." She tells him. Even if she did believe him, she would've gotten one anyways, just to be sure. "I'm going to prove to you, that you're wrong. And that you're lying." She told him. Another tear slipped down Steve's cheek. He wiped it quickly and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment.

He shook his head, trying to shake them away. "Look at me Steven." Aspen said raising her voice. Steve looked up at her, he saw the pain and heartbreak in her eyes. He just wanted to hug her, tell her it was going to be okay. Tell her he loved her and he was sorry. His eyes were bloodshot, you could tell he had been crying but her eyes were so swollen from crying, and tears still steadily running down her face, that she couldn't see that Steve was crying. 

"Yo uñere supposed to be my brother." She said. Her voice breaking. She sobbed. She couldn't help it. "I trusted you. I loved you." She cried harder. "Even when we fought." She said. "You should have told me I was adopted." She wasn't wrong. He should have. "I may be adopted but there's no way I'm Winnifreds kid." She says. "You should've told me. I deserved to know. And when you finally did tell me...you yelled it in my face to hurt me." She cried.

Steve didn't mean to hurt her. It wasn't his intention, but the situation escalated quickly. It just kept getting worse. Aspen shook her head as her eyes met Steve's. She wanted to collapse and cry. She didn't want to be anymore. She didn't want to exist. She felt hatred rising in her. Hatred for Steve. And she felt bad. And she hated it. But she felt it. And she said it. "For that Steve..." She started, her voice breaking. "God help me, I fucking hate you." She whispers before turning around, leaving him there, and slamming the door shut.

A/n: and btw, since I'm literally getting so Much hate, I'm going to spoil this a bit, you'd find out tmrw anyway but the hate is stressing me out so spoiler alert. A and B aren't siblings.