It's Forbidden

You Weren't There

The next morning Bucky and Aspen were still cuddled up in Bucky's bed together. He was holding her just as he was last night and she snuggled up into him, holding his arms around her, even though she knew he wouldn't let go of her. They both slept better than they had in years. Because they felt safe with one another.

Steve was coming to check on Bucky, they normally went on runs in the morning, but this morning, Bucky was a no show. So he went into his room to check on him. And instead of Bucky asleep, or whatever he was doing instead of meeting Steve for their run, he saw Aspen in his bed with him. Bucky shirtless and Aspen wearing just a T-shirt. They were cuddled close to one another and had their arms around each other.

Steve stood in the doorway for a moment. Soaking in what he was seeing. Trying to believe what was right in front of his eyes. His little sister in his best friends bed.  Both half naked. Anyone in his position would think what he was thinking. They had sex. His best friend slept with his little sister. His little sister slept with his best friend. Or so he thought.

They both looked so peaceful together. But the only thing Steve saw was betrayal. His little sister and his best friend. His best friend and his little sister. What kind of best friend would sleep with his best friends brother, and what kind of sister would sleep with her brothers best friend. That's what was running through Steve's mind as he looked at them together.

He walked towards the bed, but stopped himself before he got too close. He looked at Bucky's face, his features. It was the most relaxed he had seen Bucky since the forties. And he looked at Aspens face, how calm she looked, she looked like she felt safe where she was. And he hated that. Because it was Bucky.

If they were together, where would that leave him? Alone. Or at least that's what he thought. If they were together he would be the third wheel. They would leave him. And he would be all alone. They were the only two people in the world who knew how it felt to be in the forties and then come back in the two thousands. They knew how he felt. And he didn't want to lose them. Especially to each other.

So he chose to try and keep them apart as best he could. So he wasn't alone. It was selfish. And part of him knew that. But the other part of him just wanted his sister and his best friend, the people from before. Before hydra, before all of it. Even if it was an impossible thing to have he still wanted it back.

"Really Aspen?" He asks. Choosing to blame her because he always saw her as what he perceived to be flirting with Bucky. What he didn't know is that was just her caring for him. Not flirting. Aspen sat up slowly rubbing her eyes. "Steve, what're you doing in here?" She asked. She felt the bed shift beside her as Bucky sat up too, rubbing his eyes too and looking to Steve. "Steve?" He asked.

"Did you two sleep together?" Steve asked angrily. Looking between Bucky and Aspen. Seeing them together, awake, in bed, half naked, enraged him more and more each second. "Steve it's not like that." Aspen says to him. "I-I uhm," Bucky started. He was trying to get out that he had a nightmare and just wanted Aspen to stay with him, but he couldn't get anything out.

He didn't want Steve to look at him differently. So Aspen spoke up. Covering for Bucky because she knew exactly what he was thinking, what was going through his mind. Why he couldn't finish his sentence. "I uh...I had a nightmare. About Hydra. And Bucky said he would stay with me. It's not what you think." She says.

Steve was relieved they hadn't slept together, but stop angry that instead of going to him, she chose to go to Bucky. Which left him in the same spot he feared he would be in if they were together. Alone. With them relying on each other instead of him. "I'm your brother Aspen. If you're having problems, you can come to me. I can help you." Steve says.

Aspen shakes her head, trying to figure out how to tell Steve what she was thinking without it coming out the wrong way. "It's different Steve." Was all she could manage. "How is it different? Because I'm your brother? Because you just want an excuse to sleep with Bucky?" He asked raising his voice. Resorting back to his first accusation, then sleeping together, even though she had already told him what had happened.

"No. It's different because you don't know what we went through." She said. Steve looked at her, knowing that she was about to really opening up to him and he was ready to listen. "You don't understand because you weren't there." She said. Now he felt like she was blaming him. He felt like it was his fault. He was a roller coaster of emotions and he felt angry again.

"Bucky understands my pain because he was there. I understand his because I was there." She told him. Realizing how idiotic all this was he looked down, away from his sisters teary eyes. To the ground. "We felt it together. We went through it together." She went on. He took a deep breath and he felt sorry for them.

Because Aspen was right. They had a bond he couldn't break, he couldn't compete with. Because he wasn't there. He didn't know how they felt or what they went through. Only they did. "You can't help me. Because you don't understand. You weren't there Steve." Aspen finished. And he felt her pain, for the first time since she got back he understood somewhat of how she felt because she finally opened up to him. So he was okay with them grieving and healing together. But if they ended up together, that was something he wouldn't be okay with.