It's Forbidden

To Protect You

After Aspen practically broke down to Steve, he stayed silent for a moment, nodded his head, and left the room. With Aspen in tears. Feeling a weight being lifted off her chest at her confession to Steve. And Bucky right by her side, like he always was.

He wiped her tears and went to the kitchen, he got her some hot tea and brought it back to his room for her. He handed it to her as he sat down next to her. "Thank you." She whispered to him as she took it from his hands. They sat in silence for a moment as she took a sip of the hot tea.

She could feel Bucky's eyes on her and looked back at him. "Why did you tell Steve you were the one having nightmares?" Bucky asked. He had been wondering it since she said it. Part of him knew the answer but every bit of him wanted to hear her say it out loud.

"Because you didn't seem like you wanted to tell him you were." She said. Not batting an eye. Like it was the most obvious answer. Like he should have already known the answer. He looked at her like he was still confused, so she went on. "I didn't want you to feel like you had to tell him about your nightmares if you weren't ready." She told him.

She had no problem telling her brother about her nightmares, even if she wasn't the one actually having them tonight. Especially if it meant sticking up for Bucky, protecting him in any way she possibly could. If he wasn't ready to tell Steve about his nightmares, she would help him hide it until he was ready.

Bucky took a breath and looked away. Taking another one before looking back at Aspen. His steel blue eyes meeting her emerald green eyes. He was ready to bear his soul to her. "I don't think he'd look at me the same if I told him about them." Bucky says. And it was true.

He feared that if he told Steve about his nightmares, about hydra, he wouldn't look at him the same way anymore. He was afraid Steve would think he was weak, fragile, he was afraid of everything lately and this was one of the main things. Steve not looking at him the same anymore. His best friend, looking at him differently.

"I get it. Why do you think I never told him what we went through?" Aspen asked him. She never told Steve what they went through with hydra because she was afraid he would look at her like she was broken. Like she was something he needed to fix. Because that's always how he looked at her. As his broken little sister that needed fixing.

"Tony had to tell him. And Tony only knew because he found notes Hydra took." She continued. And she was furious when Tony told him. Because exactly what she feared would happen, happened. He started looking at her differently. Treating her differently. Trying to prevent her from making her own choices because he didn't think she was stable enough to.

Bucky looked at Aspen for a long moment. Reading her facial expressions, her thoughts. He began to think back to everything that had happened and he hated it more and more when he thought about how Aspen had to go through everything too. And how he could see her constantly relieving it. "You didn't deserve what happened to us." Bucky told her.

"Neither did you." Aspen said back quickly. She knew Bucky blamed himself for what happened, she knew he struggled with it, as anyone would, she knew that he thought he deserved what had happened and she wanted him to know that he didn't. She would tell him over and over again until he believed it.

She thinks to herself for a moment, thinking back to this morning. She laughed slightly, to herself. Then she smiled at Bucky. "You know what would've been funny?" She asks. "What?" Bucky asks. Humoring her. Smiling at her smiling at him. Seeing Aspen smile, especially after everything that happened, made him feel like there was hope. Hope for her to have a normal life, for her to be happy, and he felt the slightest bit of hope for himself too. But the hope for Aspen was all he needed.

"If we would've let Steve think we had actually slept together, he would've been too stunned to speak." Aspen says laughing. Bucky smiles and shakes his head at the bright eyed, amused woman in front of him. "He's so uptight." She adds on. And she was right. Steve had always been uptight. She would always try to get him to let go, loosen up. And that's one of the reasons she was so glad he had Bucky in the forties because Bucky made Steve smile more, made him not as uptight.

But now, even though they still had each other, they were all wound tightly now. Bucky and Aspen not as much as Steve, but they were both still more carefully, quiet and composed than they were back then. "You know he would've ended my life, right?" Bucky asks her. Both of them knowing he wouldn't really but judging by his reaction this morning, he'd still be very upset.

"No." Aspen says. "Because i would've protected you." She says smiling. She always would protect him. She never wanted anything to happen to him, even if it was just Steve being mad at him. She wanted him to be safe and happy and live a conflict free life even if she knew it was impossible she could still hope, she could still dream, she could still wish.

"Thank you Aspen." Bucky whispers to her. Her smile fades as his does. As she sees him getting somewhat serious. Then all the ways serious. "For what?" She asks. "For always protecting me I should be the one protecting you. And I will. However I can." He says.

Bucky felt he didn't protect Aspen as much as he should, no matter how hard he tried to protect he'd he always felt he failed or wasn't good enough or he failed. But he would always continue to try and protect her, whatever way he could. He would try as hard as he could. He leans over and gives Aspen a soft kiss on her forehead, and both of them are frozen in the moment, and feel they want to just hold each other forever, but it goes unspoken.