It's Forbidden

Let's Go Get This Over With

A year later Bucky and Aspen were taken out of cryostasis. After series of therapeutic exercises and several experiments, their trigger words were gone from their minds. They were now themselves again. In that sense. But their mental health was another story.

They got back to the compound. Aspen kept to herself in her room and Bucky did the same in his room. They spoke to nobody but Steve for a week. Not even each other. Not intentionally, they just didn't know how to go about talking to each other. It had been a year and they needed to adjust. They both needed a second to themselves before having to worry about anyone else.

Like she had been doing for the past week, Aspen was sitting in her room alone. She figured she may as well do something while she was in there, instead of just think and cause herself pain by what she was thinking of, so she tried to turn on the T.V, watch something, but couldn't quite figure out how it worked.

Steve had several years before them to learn these things, to adjust. But this was all new to Aspen and Bucky. They tried their best to learn but they'd only been in the 2000's for a week technically, not being frozen, locked in a cell or strapped to a table. It was a lot to take in and a lot to learn. Things were so different in the 40's. Not even just technology but society had changed so much.

Steve pulled her from her thoughts, and her trying to figure out how to work the T.V when he walked in. "Hey. What're you doing?" He asked. He walked towards the bed where Aspen was and she put the remote down and looked up at her big brother. "Trying to figure out how this T.V. Works." She says. Steve chuckles slightly and shakes his head at his little sister.

He recalled the time when he had to learn all of this. And he was still learning. But he knew more now than he did when he was first brought back. "You'll get the hang of all of it soon." Steve says. Aspen shrugs her shoulders and shakes her head. Part of her wondered what the point was of it all. But she shook those thoughts away. "Yea. I guess so." She says.

Steve sits on the bed next to her. He looks over at her, meeting her eyes but she looks down at her lap and fiddles with her fingers. She had a hard time being around Steve since she got back. Guilt took over constantly. She had left him all alone in the 40's. She chose to die instead of be there for him.

He lost his best friend, or so they thought, they knew it was a possibility he was dead but weren't sure. But she chose to die with him, or to try and save him if she did survive the fall. She chose to die with Bucky over living for her brother and she felt guilty as hell, and partly because she's still glad she did it. Because Bucky didn't have to go through it all alone.

So she couldn't look him in the eyes. Not fully. Not for too long. Because she felt like she was being stabbed in the heart every time. Especially when he was trying to look out for her. Like now. "I was thinking that maybe you could meet the team properly. You haven't really talked to anyone yet." Steve says.

And he was right. She didn't. And it was intentional. She decided she would open up to him. Try to be honest as to why she didn't really want to talk to anyone. Not just because she wanted to be alone to process, but because when she was weak, when she was scared, when she felt alone, when she had no idea what was going on, they tore her away from the one person who could make her feel safe, Bucky.

"I needed to be alone. I didn't want to talk to anyone when I got back. After all, they did tear Bucky and i apart when I got out of my mind control." She says. She had opened up to Steve, told him how she felt, she trusted him. She wanted to be honest and she wanted to talk about how she felt to her big brother.

But Steve had a look on his face when she finally looked up at him. He looked disappointed, frustrated, like he was angry with her. "They had to Aspen." He said sternly. And Aspen decided to stand her ground. To defend herself because she felt like he was taking their side and she wanted him to understand how it made her feel.

"He was the only thing I recognized. You weren't in the room. And they tore us apart." Aspen said. He continued looking at her and sue continued. "I was scared Steve." She said. She wanted him to understand. But he didn't. "We were what we thought was best for you. It's over now. So will you stop being stubborn, and meet the team?" He asks.

Steve wasn't a bad brother by any means, part of him did think it was best for you and Bucky to be apart for the time being. He had changed but he was still Steve. He still cared about you and Bucky and he wanted to look out for you both. He just didn't know the right way to do it.

Aspen was going to give in and meet the team, she knew she had to at some point, but she wanted to see Bucky first. To check on him, see how he was doing, but mostly just because she missed him. "Can I see Bucky first?" She asks. Steve shook his head but he knew he couldn't say no. Aspen would see him anyway.

She walked into Bucky's room and he was laying on the bed staring at the ceiling. "Hey stranger." Aspen says. Bucky looks up and sees Aspen in the doorway. He gets up and they look at each other for a moment. And he gives a slight smile after looking over her features, making sure nothing had changed. She was still Aspen.

He did notice the bags under her eyes though. And the sadness in her eyes. But he also noticed that there was a shimmer of hope in her eyes when she saw him though. "Hey doll." He says. "What's wrong?" Aspen asks. She had also seen the bags under Bucky's eyes. How worn out and worried he looked. How stressed out he looked. And the pain in his eyes.

But like Aspen, Bucky showed signs of hope when he saw her. He wanted to protect her, so he wanted to try to hide his pain from her. But he found it hard. He wanted nothing more than to tell her everything and just embrace her, hold her tight even just for a second so he could feel okay even if it was just for a second.

"Nothings wrong." He lied. Aspen saw right through it. "We've been best friends for like 90 years. I know that face. What's wrong?" She asks. And he couldn't keep it from her. She was right. They were best friends, and he wanted to tell her everything. And he knew they could help each other. And she read him like a book.

"I can't sleep." He told her. "I haven't been able to since the night Steve brought me back." He continued. Aspen felt a ping in her heart. She hated that he was having trouble and she knew there was nothing she could do about it unless he let her help him and he was stopping. "Nightmares?" She asked. She didn't need to ask though, she already knew.

"Yea...Hydra." Bucky said. Aspen already knew. Because she was having them too. "Me too. Do you want to talk about it?" She asks him. Knowing the answer would probably be no but she wanted to leave the door open just incase. "Not now...later?" He asks. Surprising Aspen. She thought the answer would just be no. A polite No though. "Steve wants me too meet the rest of the team." Bucky says.

"Yea later. He wants me too meet them too." She tells him. She was glad Bucky was going too because she didn't want to do it alone. She had him. She had Steve too but it was different because Bucky knew exactly what she was going through. "Let's go get this over with." She said. And they left the room together.