Captive | The Walking Dead |

89

The day Isabella Grimes died, a deep part of Rick Grimes died as well. A part of him died knowing he'd never see his beautiful wife again.

Knowing he'd never get to make more memories with her, or continue raising their family with her broke him. It broke him ten fold the amount as he did when Lori died.

He wasn't sure if ever truly loved Lori, he knew he loved the idea of her, but Isabella? Every fiber of that man's being loved her, she was all he thought about.

And after losing her after the prison, he appreciated her so much more. He appreciated everything about her so much more. He appreciated the way she laughed, her personality, how full of life she was, he even appreciated her flaws more.

Once she was gone for real, he missed everything about her. He even missed their arguments.

The first day he learned of her passing he cried all night. He cried himself to sleep and his dreams were filled with nightmares. Nightmares of the things she endured with the saviors, nightmares of him not being able to save her.

Whenever he tried to talk to Carl, for them to try and figure out their grief, he could never finish his sentence. Mentioning her would always break him, seeing all of her old things broke him.

Seeing Bear broke him, seeing her empty side of the bed broke him, seeing the clothes she'd never wear again broke him, even the lego set she built with Carl broke him.

Losing her made him so angry all the time, angry at Negan and angry at the saviors. He never held back when fighting anymore, never showed mercy for the light of his life was gone, he had no reason to hold back.

Carl managed his grief better, and tried to live a way that would've made his mom proud. He took on the mantle of using her crossbow. Daryl helped teach him and he made his shots count with it.

He treated strangers with kindness, it was because of her that he trusted the stranger he found at the gas station. 

It made Rick proud. It made him think that they'd be okay, that they could get through the loss of Isabella.

Carl came close to death except Bear saved him but after that day Rick did everything in his power to keep his remaining family alive.

Yet no matter how hard he tried to stop thinking about Isabella, she was all he saw in his dreams.

Night after night, he'd dream only of her, each dream with different scenarios. He didn't think he'd ever move on from her.

So when Isabella Grimes quite literally showed up at the front gates of Hilltop, Rick couldn't believe his eyes. He thought he was hallucinating the injured, bloodied girl, thought he was hallucinating his wife.

But then he heard her voice and by some miracle, some near impossible miracle, he knew she was real. He knew that she was, here she was merely feet away from him.

He couldn't even think of what to say as he let out an exasperated sigh and walked to her as fast as he could, wanting nothing but to feel her body in his arms.

When Rick reached her, he brought her in tight hug, practically squeezing her in fear of losing her again and brought her head into his chest.

Isabella broke into a sob at his touch and wrapped her arms around him, squeezing her eyes shut as she let out a sigh of relief, relieved she finally made it home.

Rick pulled slightly away and cupped her face and she cried harder, burying her face in his hands.

"Oh Isa," Rick softly spoke.