Love Far Beyond the Ashes

No More Regret

Calli pov: We gathered Mama Mori and Sister Reap, and all of us went back to Kanata's place before we could be found.

"Don't go out until everything dies down." Kanata sighed

"And don't go on a rampage again." Bae pouted in fury.

"I'm just worried about Kiara." I mumbled

"Well, Kiara won't be happy to see you in that state. You are too weak!" Ayame-senpai giggled

"What...." I growled

"Well, let's be honest, you are weak; you aren't very smart; to be honest, your looks are lackluster; Subaru wouldn't want to take you out for dinner." Ayame-senpai said

"What the fuck does that mean?" I asked

"Have you met Subaru?" Ayame-senpai asked

"Yes, I have her; she's Kiara's sister," I said.

"She didn't tell me she has a sister." Ayame-senpai stated

"Well, they aren't actually related, but it's a whole thing...." I groaned

"So you said you'd help my weak older sister get stronger," Bae said.

"Shut the fuck up...." I hissed, making Bae jump.

"Oh yeah, we actually need to do something like meditate." Ayame-senpai said

I nodded, and she continued talking. "Can I use your kitchen?" Ayame-senpai asked

"Sure," Kanata said.

She led me there and pulled out a plastic bag filled with flowers, making a circle. "Sit inside it," she commanded. I did as I was told, and she then said for me to close my eyes.

Mori Calliope: "You have killed many people, so your training will be to face them all." Ayame-senpai said she came up to me and placed her hand on my forehead.

"Now you can't leave until the mental training is complete. You are physically stronger, but you are mentally weak." Ayame-senpai said

I appeared in some sort of mental space and I looked around. This world was oddly happy for me as I got familiar with the place. I felt a presence. I gazed around but didn't see anyone. I felt a tap on my leg. I looked down and noticed Kiara when she was much younger.

"Calli, are you here to kill me?" She smiled happily as she skipped around me in a circle.

"Kiara, I don't have any swings in that direction anymore," I said.

"Huh?" Kiara said as she stood there unmoving, "Do you not need me?" She said

"No, it's just that I—" I paused and bit my lip, not knowing what to say.

"You are going to abandon me like my mother and father!" She screamed as tears streamed down her face. She was so enraged that her tears dried up as soon as they fell.

"Kiara, I won't abandon you; I never wanted to!" I yelled

The Kiara in front of me vanished, and then I looked to my right, seeing Kiara again, this time her more recent

"Calli, I will hate you forever..." Kiara said

"What are you talking about?" I asked

"You said so yourself, Calli, you said you would hate me!" She hissed

"I—we moved past this Kiara. I love you. " I said

"Oh? "You love me, but I thought no one would ever love me, and they never will," she said sarcastically.

"I didn't mean that!" I screamed

"Shut the hell up, you little shit, you are nothing more than a jealous bitch!" Kiara yelled as she pulled out her sword.

I was shocked, but I realized what this was. This was my head. This is what I think about all the time. I want Kiara to hate me and condemn me for what I did. All my regret and pain built up in one place.

"Kiara, I don't want to fight." I said somberly.

"Oh, that's cute. You don't want to fight?" "Don't you think you are just saying what you want to hear after all, I was such an asshole to her that I want to be hated," a shadow version of myself said.

I looked at the fake version of myself and sighed, "I need to face myself." I said

"Oh, you want to fight me?" "But don't you want to repent for what you did to Kiara?" The other me asked:

"Shut the hell up...." I said as I tried to summon Ricky, but it never came.

"You think that'll work, I'm you, Ricky is mine," the other me said while summoning the scythe.

The shadow me ran at me and slashed at me. I dodged, and in my peripheral vision, I saw the fake Kiara coming at me. I tried to dodge, but I was slashed in the back. She seared it so badly that I couldn't feel it anymore.

"Damn it..." I groaned as the fake me walked up and kicked me in the face, making me fly into the air. She jumped up and hit me with an airborne axe kick, slamming my head into the ground.

I barely managed to get up and slowly inch my way to safety as they stared me down. I had a feeling losing this mental space wouldn't be a good thing, so I was worried.

The shadow me threw Ricky at me. "I want to see you fight for your life against Wawa," the other me said sadistically.

I reached for Ricky and grabbed it, but it didn't feel right nonetheless. I wasn't going to hurt Kiara, even if she is a fake. I don't want to hurt her ever again.

"Stop acting like you can wash away the past, you bastard!" The other me said:

"I'm not trying to..." I said "I just want you to know that I understand the value of life," I said.

The other me growled in anger, "You are supposed to kill you; you are so irritating!" The other me said:

"I won't repress these memories anymore; I'll embrace them, and I'll make sure to atone by getting rid of the weak me that is only clinging to the past!" I said

"Then show me you are willing to look to the future with me," the fake Kiara said.

I nodded and smiled as I lunged at the fake me instead of the fake Kiara and slashed its head off.

Now maybe I can look forward...