Love Far Beyond the Ashes

The Way I Feel

Reine pov: I walked back to Kiara, who had followed me with worry. Her gaze was filled with concern for me. Her orange hair flowed in the wind, her eyes glistening.

"Did you run away?" She asked me I stood there with resignation, running away as I always have. "Do you need help?" She asked me

I squeezed my hand so hard that my nails dug into my skin and blood began to seep from my hand. "Kiara, is it okay to be a little selfish?" I asked her

"Yes, it is," She told me without thinking about it.

"Kiara I—" I paused, not wanting to tell her what I was thinking about. This wouldn't be good.

"Reine, you and Ollie are compatible, but you just need to sit down and talk to her about everything. You haven't really told her about all your insecurities, so even if she was being a little insensitive, she probably didn't mean it," Kiara stated.

"Kiara, is there a type of person you are unattracted to?" I suddenly asked

"Wow, that is blunt, but yes, there is a type I'm not really into." She claimed

I grabbed onto her body tightly and asked, "What is it?" I asked her

"Well, to be honest, girls, that can kind of match my energy, but there is something different I don't know," I stated.

"Kiara..." for some reason I broke out in tears. Kiara hugged me tightly.

She lifted my chin up so I would look into her eyes and say, "Let's talk about us." Kiara said to me

"Us—Us?" I stuttered, saying it twice, getting a small laugh out of Kiara.

"You're worried about how I think about you, and I understand how you feel," Kiara said.

"You know how I feel?" I asked

Kiara nodded. "I've known for awhile," she mentioned.

"Then—you're just going to reprimand me?" I sighed

"No, Reine, the two of us know each other better than that, and I will never scold you for how you feel," Kiara mentioned.

Kiara and I both looked away from one another, knowing where this conversation usually goes.

"You need to talk to Ollie," Kiara stated.

"I do, but at the same time, I don't think I can really verbalize to her why I'm so mad at her for not taking my side," I said.

"Reine, I still have a few things to tell Calli, so let's do our best together as sisters," Kiara stated.

She drove the point home with the annunciation of the word sister, but I am not mad at that as much as I would have been before. I guess I just needed to cry about it.

"It's okay for you to feel however you want about something; just channel it the right way and don't let feelings cloud your judgment." She stated

I have been letting my emotions get the best of me. She's right, I can't let myself succumb to my feelings. I need to talk to Ollie straight and tell her everything, even spilling my secrets.

I think I am ready to go face Ollie again, and I won't run away from her, but at the same time, I want to be with Kiara for longer. I don't want to run away from anything I feel anymore because Kiara told me it's okay.

"You two birbs are done talking, or was that the other thing you were about to do?" Mumei asked

"Why are you here and not holding off Moona-senpai?" I asked Mumei

"I currently am!" She told me

"Wait, then, what is this?" Kiara asked

"I am just moving back and forth so fast that there is an afterimage of me," She stated.

I was thinking there was no way that could be real, but we both trust Mumei, so she definitely is telling the truth.

"Are you two going to finally part ways and talk to Ollie?" Mumei asked

"Yeah, in a minute," I stated.

"What are you waiting for?" I was asked

Kiara knew what I wanted, and so did Mumei, but they asked anyway since they really wanted me to get onto talking to Ollie to mend my relationship.

I still want to say some things to Kiara. I don't know how much I can really say without coming across as spoiled or entitled. Kiara patiently waited for me to speak.

"The two of us have known one another for awhile, and we gained this sisterly bond, and I just want to thank you for everything!" I said

"Huh?" Kiara said.

"You always helped me try to get dates; you helped me get through rejection; you helped me through my roughest times, and I want to thank you!" I told her

"Look, you don't have to thank me for helping you out of love!" Kiara said

I paused for a second and bit down on my lip. "I'll thank you anyway!" I yelled

Kiara shook her head, telling me once again that I don't need to thank her, but I keep insisting on thanking her, so she finally bit the bullet and agreed that I don't need to thank her for everything, but I also want to apologize for making her worry about me so much.

She always has to help me out when I make a mistake, get mad, or get upset. It must be hard for all of them.

"Sorry for making you worry!" I shouted

She glared at me. "Don't apologize, you little shit!" Kiara yelled at me.

I nodded. She was being a little rude, but I need her to hit me like that right now. She needs to make me shut up.

I held my breath, deciding I needed to get everything out right now. I pushed Kiara back until she was against a tree.

"Can I be selfish once more?" I asked her

"Go ahead," Kiara allowed.

I'll talk to Ollie in a minute. I want to do something that has been on my mind for a while.