Love Far Beyond the Ashes

Who I Am

Reine pov: I ran back into the forest and threw Anya to the ground, letting her transform back to normal. She glared at me, confused by my current state.

"What's wrong?" She asked me

"Do you ever feel inadequate?" I asked

"No, are you feeling that way because of Kiara and Mumei?" Anya asked

"No, but I'm feeling this way because when I was fighting, my attacks didn't do much," I said.

I accept that I'm beautiful, and I respect my body now, but I still don't really like my strength level. I am the weakest of my sisters. Well, maybe not Subaru, but still.

"We'll talk about it later," Anya sighed.

"No, let's talk now." I said

Anya jumped due to my tone, but she nodded. "Let's talk," she said.

"I want to catch up to the others; I don't need to be the strongest, but I don't want to be left behind," I said.

Anya nodded once again. "Then train," she said.

"That's not the problem; I mentally need to get stronger too," I said.

"Look what's holding you back from the trauma of the past?" Anya said

"No," I said.

"Then what?" Anya asked

"I have no idea, to be honest," I said.

Anya sighed She didn't know what to say to me since if I don't give her anything, then what can she say to me about this? She can't help at all.

"Maybe Ollie can help you," Anya said.

"Ollie can't help me; she barely knows who she is. She couldn't possibly help me identify who I am; it's metaphorical; it's not literally who I am." I said

Anya knew that, but she still said it. I know that she is a blade, so she wouldn't really understand an existential crisis.

"Reine-senpai, is that you?" Kaela asked

"Kaela, what are you doing here?" I asked

"She was throwing up," Selen said.

"Oh yeah, you're that dragon girl; I never introduced myself; I'm Reine, and why is Kaela throwing up?" I asked

"Oh, you don't know. I'm-" Kaela was cut off by Zeta, who came running over.

"Are you okay?" She yelled

"Yeah, I'm just a bit sick," Kaela said.

"That isn't okay, beb!" Zeta said

I didn't really know why Zeta was more protective of Kaela than usual, but it was cute.

"Hey senpai..." Zeta said.

"Question Zeta, how did you figure out who you are?" I asked

"Well, I'm just a human that was modified into a weapon to commit atrocious war crimes against humanity but also to be a secret agent," Zeta said.

"You don't like it, though?" I asked

"I wouldn't say that, but who asks to be modified into a super weapon?" Zeta asked

That was true, but if I remember correctly, the other dimension hated that she was modified, so maybe our Zeta just repressed bad memories of the experiments placed on her.

"Reine, you are yourself; you just need to figure out how you want to view yourself," Zeta told me.

How do I want to view myself as a strong woman or just someone people can stare at?

"Reine-senpai, if you view yourself negatively, I'm going to kick your ass." Zeta said

"Wait, you shouldn't!" Selen said

"Why?" Zeta asked.

"Mumei would be mad!" Selen said

"Yeah, and you don't want to see her mad," Finana said.

"One, I know about that, and two, I can kick whoever's ass I want to kick, and Reine-senpai needs it!" Zeta said

"Maybe we shouldn't; I don't want to see Mumei mad," Anya said.

"Anya-senpai, I don't fucking care. Reine-senpai needs to learn not to hate herself!" Zeta yelled

Zeta ran at me and went for an axe kick. I yanked a feather blade out and blocked the kick, but the feather instantly shattered.

"The hell!?" Selen and Finana yelled

Zeta didn't pull her attack; she made sure it fully hit me. She definitely held back a bit so as not to knock me out or kill me, but she at least gave me a concussion.

She began to hit me with a barrage of punches. "Reine, you aren't going to fight back?" She said

I gritted my teeth and punched her face. She didn't flinch, and she wasn't affected by the punch. She used her right arm to punch me in the stomach.

"You need to look at yourself from our point of view; we all love you, Reine!" Zeta said

I yanked out another feather blade and went to stab her, but the blade shattered on her stomach.

"You really think that'll work?" "My body is modified; it's stronger than normal; it's like metal," Zeta said.

"It'll work eventually!" I yelled

"No, it won't, dumbass!" Zeta yelled

"Zeta, stop this beating; Reine-senpai won't change anything," Kaela said.

"It will..." I told her.

"Get up, Senpai," Zeta said.

I stood up, pulled yet another feather blade out, and got ready to attack her. She just began to dodge me while watching Kaela.

"So what are you craving?" Zeta asked

"Still ramen," Kaela said.

"Wait, craving. Sickness is Kaela pre-" I was interrupted by Zeta slamming into me.

"Damn it!" I hissed

"To answer your question, yes, I am," Kaela said.

"Congrats!" I told them

"Thank you, Senpai, and stand up." Zeta said

"Got it!" I said

When I stood up again, all of a sudden, Ollie came running in, and she hugged me.

"I was worried sick!" She cried

I was shocked she was so focused on Matsuri-senpai. I could have sworn she forgot about me since she really wasn't paying much attention to me. I'm happy about it, but still, I don't know who I am.

"Ollie, you were worried?" I said

"Yeah, you just disappeared!" Ollie said

I looked at Zeta, and she smiled at me. Is this where I belong with Ollie? Is she the one that is going to show me who I am after all?

I will find it out with her.