In The Shadow of Our Choices

Chapter 87: Hairpins and Harbors

Elizabeth

Elizabeth slept hard, the faint motion of the ship sending her straight to sleep and keeping her there. In the morning, it was the bustle of the other ladies getting ready for the day that woke her despite the curtain dividers that separated them. She found herself loath to move, wrapped in warmth as she was, but with consciousness came the memories of the previous night. She sighed, tugging the surprisingly soft blankets up to her face and settling in deeper, wishing she could slip back into sleep, but she couldn't quite seem to manage it. Instead, she found herself replaying the conversation she had had with Ominis the previous evening.

The revelation that he was, in some sense, available had been unexpected, to say the least. At the time, her heart had felt light, but now it felt like a stone, resting somewhere in her stomach. She had rarely, if ever, seen Ominis so open and vulnerable, and it had tugged at her heartstrings. But now, she found herself entirely unsure. They had danced around the subject - had it been a simple admission to a friend, or more of a proposition? Not only had he not declared any particular intentions, but he had not made his current feelings clear. Elizabeth frowned, her fingers tracing absent patterns on the blankets. She had spent the last month trying to get Sebastian out of her heart and mind, and now this. Her feelings for Ominis were equally as tangled, what with her broken mind having set them aside entirely, only for them to have come crashing back in, once she'd thought he was taken. Was it possible to feel such conflicting things, all at once? Apparently so.

The ring he'd given her was tucked safely inside the drawer of her small bedside cabinet, and, after a moment of debating, she snaked a hand out into the chilly air to retrieve it. It was a delicate thing and beautiful, but Elizabeth was unsure here too. She turned it over, looking at it closely, considering more than just its details. Had there been anything deeper in the gift, or was it simply something small and easy to wear for his spell? He had given Grace a ring as well, after all.

Elizabeth had never given marriage much thought, and in the moment, with Ominis, it had seemed unimportant, but she supposed that, in the back of her mind, she had always expected to get married. It was simply the natural conclusion of a relationship - a path that offered security, stability, and respectability. The notion of deviating from this well-established path felt almost heretical. She felt a creeping unease in her stomach, just thinking about it. But, it was Ominis, and had her life so far not already been wildly unconventional? She had grown up in an orphanage, started at Hogwarts in her fifth year, possessed an ability to use ancient magic, and had taken lives, among other things. As much as she fought for normalcy, she never seemed to catch it, not even in this. All that was besides the point, however, as she knew not where she stood with him.

The heat under the blankets had become cloying, and Elizabeth slid the ring onto her finger before she rose. The metal was cold, like the air, and it held her skin lightly as she moved, beginning to get ready for the day. She had never had cause nor opportunity to wear a ring before, and the sensation was foreign to her. Digging through her muggle clothes, she pulled out a sturdy green wool skirt and a shirtwaist at random. As she dressed, her thoughts continued to circle around her thoughts and feelings. Fastening the buttons, societal expectations tugged at her conscious, but as she smoothed out the fabric of the skirt, she remembered the joy of the previous spring. Elizabeth sighed and shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts.

When she'd begun to carefully brush and pin her hair up, Aria appeared around the curtain that separated their beds. Elizabeth glanced up from the small mirror she was using and was struck, as she had been yesterday, by how well Aria fit the muggle clothes. They'd bought similar clothes at the shop, but Aria wore the ensemble with an effortless confidence that Elizabeth didn't think she could ever match. Her hair, however, was still down and loose, and she looked utterly irked.