My Sweetest Desire

62 : nevan

Pintu biliknya dan Ivan dibuka dan kakinya melangkah masuk ke dalam bilik tidur mereka itu. Matanya diliarkan mencari kelibat Ivan. Suaminya itu terlebih dahulu meminta diri untuk masuk ke dalam bilik kerana dia perlu menyiapkan kerjanya tika dia masih rancak berbual dengan Ayyara dan Airis tadi.

Pintu balkoni yang terbuka membuatkan Arisha melangkah ke situ. Diselaknya langsir, di mana dia melihat Ivan yang sedang berdiri membelakangkannya. Senyuman terukir di bibirnya sambil dia melangkah mendekati suaminya. Tanpa kata, dia melingkarkan tangannya di badan Ivan dan kepalanya diletakkan di belakang jejaka itu.

Ivan yang tadinya tenang merenung langit malam kota New York itu tersentak. Wangian sweet berries milik isterinya serta-merta membuatkan bibirnya mengorak senyuman. Tangan Arisha di perutnya diusap lembut. "Kenapa ni?" soalnya biasa.

Arisha pejam mata sambil mengeratkan pelukannya. "Saya rindu awak."

"Suddenly?"

"Hm," Arisha angguk. "Thank you sebab ajak abang dan kakak saya datang sini. Thank you sebab bawa Leo sekali. Thank you for everything, Ivan," tuturnya kemudian.

Ivan senyum kecil. Pelukan Arisha di badannya dileraikan sebelum dia memusingkan badannya untuk menghadap Arisha. Matanya merenung lembut wajah cantik isterinya. Rambut panjang wanita itu diusap dan diselitkan ke belakang telinga. "If you are happy, then don't say thank you to me. Aku tak nak kau rasa macam you owe me anything when you are not. Aku buat semua ni sebab aku nak, sebab aku.." Ivan hela nafas. "Don't tell this to Rayyan but I do miss him. A little."

Senyuman lucu terbentuk di bibir Arisha. "Awak tak pernah cerita macam mana awak dengan abang Yan boleh rapat," kata Arisha.

"Kau nak tahu ke?" soal Ivan sambil menjongketkan keningnya.

Arisha angguk.

"Hmm," Ivan menarik tangan Arisha untuk mengikutnya ke sudut balkoni, di mana terletaknya sebuah sofa empuk. Ivan terlebih dahulu melabuhkan punggungnya sebelum dia menarik Arisha untuk duduk di pangkuannya. Tangannya memeluk erat pinggang Arisha. "Aku dengan Rayyan kenal sebab kitaorang pergi satu tempat yang sama untuk belajar menembak dan satu sekolah. He was a new student at my school, masa dekat London."

"Abang Yan pernah duduk dekat London?" Arisha memandang Ivan.

Ivan angguk. "I think he moved to London a few months after his mom died in a car accident. He moved back to Malaysia when his father died anyway. So, we were not friends back then. I mean, aku malas nak berkawan dan dia pun macam a loner back then. But our instructor masa latihan menembak always put us together as partner untuk memburu. And suddenly kitaorang belajar taekwondo, boxing, krav maga sama-sama. Dia selalu lepak rumah aku after our class because he was not in a good term with his father. That's how we ended up as friends I guess. I mean bila dia balik Malaysia, aku takde effort langsung nak reach out to him. But he did. After his father's funeral and everything, he did reach out to me even aku tak reply kadang-kadang. Tapi masa dia study dekat London dengan abang kau, semester break dia selalu datang New York."

Arisha menganggukkan kepalanya. "No wonder he knows a lot about you."

"I don't tell him anything. He just figured it out himself," jawab Ivan biasa sambil bermain dengan rambut Arisha. "But he is a good friend, anyway."

Arisha senyum. "You should tell that to him."

"No." Ivan laju membantah. "As much I appreciate him as a very good friend of mine, I don't really appreciate how extra he is."

Arisha geleng kepala. Dia mengelus sisi rahang Ivan. "Ivan, learn to open your feelings to your surroundings. Let them know how much you appreciate them."

"You means you?" Ivan menjongketkan keningnya sebelah. "You know very well about my feelings, princess."

"Ivan!" Arisha mengerutkan hidungnya. "Saya tak gurau lah."

"Siapa cakap aku bergurau?"

Arisha menjegilkan matanya.

Ivan senyum lucu. Pautan pada pinggang Arisha dieratkan. "Don't worry, princess. Even bila aku tak bagitau dia pun, he knows very well how much I appreciated him. I do say thank you when he's doing me a favor. I do reach out to him and I do offer him my help when he needs one."

"Saya tak cakap tentang abang Rayyan je. I know very well how you care for him," Arisha hela nafas. "Tapi Nevan, adik awak. I don't think awak pernah cakap tentang Nevan and I don't think you showed him enough how much you care for him."

Ivan diam tiba-tiba. Mata Arisha yang menikam wajahnya serta-merta dielakkan. "Because I don't."

Arisha mengeluh. "Ilaria bagitau saya, awak dan Nevan jarang in a good term. Awak tak pernah ambik kisah tentang dia dan dia pun tak pernah nak cari awak bila dia dalam kesusahan. He rather get bitten daripada kena minta tolong dengan abang dia," tutur Arisha lembut.

"He is reckless and sometimes is so stupid, that's why."

"Then you are okay if he is dead?"

"No," nafi Ivan laju.

"Yes, exactly." Arisha angguk. "Ivan, I was in the same situation as him back then. Saya lebih rela hadap semua benda seorang diri daripada minta pertolongan daripada abang dan kakak saya sebab saya tahu diaorang pun ada masalah masing-masing. I once lived in that way and do you know how lonely it is? Sometimes I wished I have someone I can rely on. Sometimes I wished someone would come and tell me how much they care for me and they have my back." Arisha senyum kecil. "I still live in that way tapi better sebab saya tahu abang dan kakak saya akan ada untuk saya even bila saya dah ada awak. Even when I know saya takkan minta tolong daripada mereka dalam apa-apa pun, it's good to know I have them who is related by blood in this world, which means I'm never alone. It's good to know I can always run to them if I need advice or protection. It's good to know I can rely on them in everything and it's good to know I have more than my husband to care for me."

Ivan diam. Dia meletakkan dagunya di bahu isterinya.

"Ivan," panggil Arisha lembut. "It's not hard if you try. It's not hard if we are going to try it together. I like Nevan anyway."

Ivan memandang wajah isterinya. "Don't like him that much princess. You're my wife."

Arisha tergelak dan mengangguk. "You are still my favorite person ever, no one can beat that. But well, it's fine to have a little brother."

"Dia lagi tua daripada kau."

"So apa masalah dia? Kak Yara pun lagi tua dari Kak Airis. Saya tengok Kak Airis tetap layan Kak Yara macam adik juga," balas Arisha. Tangannya menekup rahang Ivan dan didongakkannya agar suaminya itu memandangnya. "Please."

Keluhan kecil keluar dari Ivan. "Fine."

•••••

late update as usual, i'm sorry hehehe