Adore me- the fourth novel

Chapter 161- I'm not his

Taylors POV

Rachel instigated that we go and spend some time outside alone. I know why. There's only one real reason she would want to be away from the attention of the guys. Gossip. I am prepared to be grilled.

"What happened this morning, spill. Ross is going insane and you're looking at him making him squirm" she laughs.

I sigh and look down at my heels. Mocktail in my hand. I'll tell her the lot.

"Bestie" she smiles as a tear falls down my cheek.

"It's okay to love them both. It is Ross after all" she sighs.

"Yeah but this is crazy" I tell her.

"What has happened?" She asks a touch exasperated.

"This morning I was cooking and he came down and we went for a walk in the garden because I needed to calm him down" I begin realising I need to tell her about the night we had too.

"He came onto you or?" She asks concerned. I smile at her. The care is evident on her face and I reflect on how far we have come as friends.

"I needed to calm him because one thing led to another in the middle of the night and he ended up walking in on me and Jay having sex" I tell her.

"Jay was cooking for me, in the kitchen and we ended up you know. And Ross waked in. After Jay was done I climbed on Ross and we had sex all the way."  I admit.

"What!? That's crazy" she says.

"Not the craziest, I can't keep away from him. He looks at me and I know I'm in love with Jay. I'm having his babies and marrying him but Ross tries all the time to move on me. He was worried this morning because he used no protection last night. And I think it's sort of escalated his feelings" I explain.

"Shit, that's not possible though right?" she says and I look at her blonde hair in the moonlight. It's pretty and I wish that he would just fall for her instead. She looks at me with utter jealousy, just briefly and I know that she would do anything for Ross to want her.

"I don't think so" I say.

"There's more ?" She says seriously.

"Isn't there?" She probes.

"Ross walked me out here this morning to tell me that he loved me, that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. He got down on one knee and proposed to me with a ring he bought back home." I say.

"He what ?!" She practically squeals.

She cries and it's really unexpected. I can tell that she thought things were building between them. And her first reaction is one of hurt. I look away just knowing this will set our friendship back, a little.

"What did he say ? What was the ring like ?" she squeals and I can't tell what is going on in her head.

"He said a lot; that he wanted to spend his entire life with me. The ring was classic, gold with diamonds." I say.

"What did you say" she asks.

"Rachel I'm pregnant, I love Jay and I'm marrying him" I say resolutely.

"But now Ross is messing with my head, he came up before dinner, and" I say softly.

"And what?" She asks.

"He called me Taylor Elena Peterson, he told me more of the same and I asked him if he meant it" I say.

"Taylor this is wow" she sighs, breathing in a deep breath of air.

"He means it for sure" she says and I nod.

"Explains why he's looking at you like you're his" she sighs.

"I'm not his" I say.

We begin walking back and the silence gets to me.

"He's wonderful Taylor. It's a privilege to be wanted so completely by two wonderful men" she says softly.

"He deserves more than me" I say.

We walk back in quietly and I notice the guys are standing now, pouring whiskey. Rachel squeezes my hand as we walk in spotting Ross staring at me. She looks at him knowingly. He sighs running his hands through his hair, he knows I told her. His skin has tanned off and his hair has natural highlights. His blue eyes match his blue shirt and I look at him briefly.

"My beautiful wife" Jay says and I dare to look at Ross.

I embrace Jay and his hands trace up my back and through my hair.

"How is the strip routine coming along" I laugh. He looks at me with a devilish expression on his face.

Jay looks dashing; a full suit on and he could easily be a sexy butler stripper. Especially with his body. I sigh and let him pull me into his body. Breathing in his cologne. Rach stands with Nate.

"Oh come on we'll strip if you do" Rachel laughs.

"No we know where that ends up getting us" I say.

"Oh Taylor we can just get dressed again afterwards" she laughs.

I sigh and put on some music.

"I do have a strip song" I say laughing.

I walk back over to Jay seductively and he watches me, biting his lip.

"But I thought the whole point of strippers on a stag do was for them not to be your fiancée" I chuckle.

The second I reach him his hands are on me and I smile kissing him.

"No I'd like you for my stag do" he smiles.

"I'll give you a private show" I whisper.

He smiles and I bite his lip lightly.

"What's the song" Rachel laughs.

"Maybe I'll put it on in a bit" I pull away from him and wink at her.