Adore me- the fourth novel

Chapter 130- of all the things

Jays POV

Taylor is asleep. I'm driving sensibly through the empty highway which usually I would be speeding on. But the love of my life, who is carrying my unborn son is in the car.

She is facing the window and I'm desperately hoping that she's dreaming rather than having nightmares.

I walked Jacob around all night because he had to learn a lesson. He had to know that I was in charge. We did talk, over and over. Turns out his little story was indeed true, I have a way of getting things out of people. Half of me had wondered whether he told her a load of crap just to get her to feel sorry for him.

He did lose his unborn child, and partner horrifically. And I cannot imagine the grief he experienced after that. I implanted the idea that he should hand himself in for what he did to Taylor, subtly. I hope that he does, it's the only step that will somewhat redeem him. For Taylor. Not for me.

Although it's something I cannot comprehend, and indeed something I don't want to comprehend. But losing what I have, I glance at Taylor, would not justify me terrorising another woman in such a vile way.

"No" she murmurs. And I stroke her arm, she softens again and falls back asleep. She used to sleep soundly, now looking at the concerned look on her face I just know it's going to take a lot. A lot for her to relax again.

Seeing how traumatised she is, it's taking every single restraint I have not to drive to wherever he is and do something unspeakable to him. I wanted to drop him home. I wanted to know where he lives; because then I would always have the option. The option to end him.

Unfortunately for me he is linked into her work and so eradicating him is troublesome. She stirs and I know she's waking up. She blinks opening her eyes and thankfully she doesn't shout or cry instantly, it breaks my heart when she wakes up like that.

"How much longer have we got Jay baby" she mumbles and I turn the AC down.

"Around an hour or two" I say.

"You hungry?" I ask pushing my hair away from my face.

"Super hungry" she says.

"I'll pull off into the next drive through" I say smiling.

She turns the radio down slightly and sighs.

"Jacob rung me" she says.

I'm stunned but I keep my expression calm.

"He rung me to tell me that he was heading to the police station" she says looking through the windshield.

I feel like clapping, I don't.

"To confess" I say softly.

"To confess" she confirms.

"Will I have to go in too" she says quietly.

"I will go with you" I say to her.

"If they ask me to leave, we will leave together" I say.

"Okay" she says.

We pass a sign that reads services and I get in lane for the drive through.

I pull into the chain restaurant and you can instantly smell fried onions and burgers. She smiles at me and I'm happy to see her happy again.

"What would you like" I smile at her.

"Milkshake and burgers and chips and ice cream" she says enthusiastically. Our boy is going to be an eater.

"Oh and chicken" she laughs.

I order two of everything and pull over to lay it all out in the console of the car.

"Jay" she says and I look over at her.

"Thank you" she says.

"I know, it would be just like you to tell him to hand himself in" she says watching me.

"He needs to admit to what he has done even if it's just to accept he's an asshole. He needs to take ownership of his own fucked up stupidity." I say.

"He assaulted you. Hell I almost killed him. It makes me marginally calmer that he is handing himself in" I add and I'm getting worked up. I count in my head.

"I know that" she says whilst she's eating fries.

"Once it's done, and it's finished it will all be over" she says.

I rub her thigh.

"I will be here the entire time, sorry you're stuck with me." I say.

She smiles at me, two smiles in twenty minutes it's a record. And I aim to keep that smile on her face the whole entire weekend and beyond.

We set off again, both eating as we cruise down the highway listening to a mix of her playlist. I reflect on a time when I would only have my own loud and heavy stuff on in the car. So angry and alone telling myself I was happy and free. Now we listen to mazzy star and Bob Dylan, even the odd Carly Simon song which she sings along to.

She makes me feel free, being with her, listening to her sing as I drive occasionally sipping my shake. She lifts my burger and chuckles holding it in front of my face. I take a bite whilst driving and she sets it down back into the box.

I love her. It's absurd, that her holding a burger for me whilst I drive is one of the moments that makes me love her more. But it's more than that. Taylor is intuitive to my every need. As I am trying to be to her.

Taylor has just experienced one of the most traumatising events a woman can ever go through yet she still thinks of others. Of all the things she means to me, of all the things I love about her, the way she cares for others is her greatest asset.

"I think you're going to love this place" I say and I sip my shake.

"I love everywhere you take me" she smiles. Another smile.

"It's super relaxed" I say and laugh.

"Well I guess that is the whole point of a spa" I chuckle.

"They do maternity massages" I add.

She chuckles. I am the best at making my girl happy.

"I can't wait" she laughs.

"There's a pool and lots of space to walk around like fancy gardens and stuff" I say.

"And lots of food" I laugh.

"I'm officially excited" she says.

I kiss her quickly and then focus on the road. Maps says we have two hours left and I can't wait to see her face when she gets there. Hopefully I can keep her smiling the whole entire time.