Adore me- the fourth novel

Chapter 60- petty and dramatic

Jays POV

Sitting in the leather seat of my Audi I tell myself to stop being so petty and dramatic at a time when my best friend literally nearly just died and my other friend had to find him in such a state.

I start up the car and briefly, just momentarily I envision myself driving off very far. Speeding through some town that doesn't look like this one. And just taking some distance from this situation.

Instead I reverse my car out of the lot and head to our new home. Where myself and Taylor, will be happy for the rest of our lives. Yesterday was absolute perfection until we discovered this tragedy.

As I'm driving, hitting the indicator stick and smashing through my gears. I keep seeing her, kissing Ross. In the same room as me. Her beautiful soft lips crushing into his.

He loves her. He adores her. Always has and always will. I would be a liar if I said it hasn't bothered me before. Their connection, the fact that he solves everything. The calm and comfort he gives her in stressful situations.

I push and push it into the back of my mind.
But the more I push, the more I see her lips and his locked in a kiss. His hands on her, pulling her in.

I pull into our place and unlock the automatic gates. Briefly squeezing my eyes shut tight to erase my visions. Our house is set back from the gate and I drive another 5 minutes up to the circular driveway. I pull up outside ditch the car and head into our home.

I consider spending sometime wallowing in my own thoughts, sitting here and just doing nothing but think. I count up to ten and down again. Staying here will just make me miserable. But being around him right now will be just as hard. The way he watches her, my fiancee. The way his eyes linger on her every curve. When she's doing something cute and he notices just as I do. He's so in tune with her, how he catches her eyes in his own.

Seeing him sitting next to Matty in the hospital room earlier, I just kept thinking I need to say something, pull him aside. Have a word. But boy is it the wrong time for that.

I pace through to the kitchen. Our new marble kitchen, it's so grand even by my standards. I mentally thank the boiling hot water tap, pouring myself a hot coffee straight away.

Taking my coffee with me I head upstairs to our room. When I enter it's just as we left it yesterday. Sheets still crumpled from when we were together in them.

I place my coffee on the side and make the bed, for when Taylor wants to come home. She will see this out with Matty I'm sure of it. She won't want to leave him. But when she does come home the bed will be made for her.

Next I head to the en-suite and decide now's the perfect time to try our new waterfall walk in shower. I glance at the grand bath tub and imagine running one for Taylor when she comes back.

The water roars to life and I step under the stream feeling the instant lift that only having a nice clean shower can give you. There's three large rain shower heads above which cover the whole wet room, and privacy glass allows you to look out at the views at the same time. Which of course like everything else here are magnificent.

After my extravagant shower in the wet room I get changed into a pale blue button up shirt and light tan trousers. I grab our duffle bag which we use when we go travelling together and start to pack supplies.

Phone chargers, wash stuff, her favourite pjs and books for her to read. I haven't decided whether I'm staying in the hospital later or not. Both because I don't wanna be around Ross, and because I don't want to see Taylor around Ross.

I'm reading into everything, too deep. Every glance, every stare. And I need distance from it all. I grab the duffle and my keys and head back out. I'm taking my motorbike, it's quick. I don't wanna be in the Audi again, it makes me feel claustrophobic and trapped.

The motorbike roars to life and I hop on. Suddenly my adrenaline surges as I drive down to my gates. Feeling free on my drive back to the hospital I take a detour. Just tempting myself for a long drive back home later.